MERDEKA

MERDEKA!!!

Not only because it's the National Day but also finally free from my mid-term assesments.

But sadly, am still not free from the bulk of my assignments that I need to finish before end of the term. *Yark*

This saturday will be awwwaaayyy again. Hehehe *grin*grin*

Tomorrow cuti... Hmmm.. Where will I be? Maybe playing beach volleyball in Damai or simply 'lepak' at home watching VCDs or lame shows on TV... Nonetheless, a very unproductive Merdeka Holiday.

Here's to your Holiday...

AS I WONDER

Why do we sacrifice what we wants to compromise with what others want?

Why do we hold back from saying what is the obvious truth in order to keep others happy in their illusions?

Isn't it more humane to jolt them from their illusions to face the reality?

Hmm... sorta reminds me of the Matrix.

What say you???

Edit: Ah???! No opinion arr???? Hallo??? Anyone there???

PROBLEM SOLVER, SUPERHERO(ine), WORLD SAVER, WHATEVER

Am currently in a headjam...

Sometimes things just make me wonder, what makes most people think I can sort out their mess?

There's a rather unpleasant 'situation' in my house. So 'one' came and complained to me about 'other' punya perangai (i won't give the details here).

So what did I do?

I listened...

Thought about it...

Give my opinions...

In the end, it's still up to 'one' to figure it out. I can't do much since it's between 'one' and 'other'.

Unless things got out of hand, I'll let them sort it themselves. Otherwise, I'll just have to call a 'persidangan'. *sigh*

Then, there's 'another' who only contact me whenever she is in a 'jam'. Talk about abusing a friendship huh?

And there's countless others who moans/complains/whines about whatever-problems-under-the-sun. Sheesh...

And I am supposed to draw my magic wand and swish and swash it all awaaaay..... Yeah right... If only I can do that lah...

And it's very ANNOYING when these people asks for your opinion/help, but only to do apa dia suka. when it doesn't work out, comes back to me... and it starts all over again

And when I give my opinion, dismiss it by saying

"aiya Chris, so easy for you to say lah. Not you mah"

You're damn right. It's not ME, it's YOU! and shouldn't you be trying to find your own solution. I am a practical person and so my decisions will be deeply rooted in logic, to hell with jaga anyone's hati. If they can't face the truth, then tell them to bury their head in the sand lah!

Sheesh... Grow up!!!

BURNT!!!

When: Saturday

Where: KS Swimming Pool

Time: 1500 - 1830 hours

What the heck happened???

I went for my usual routine which is swimming. I usually swim at least twice a week. Since I was rather busy lately with classes and whatnots, I missed a few sessions. Been disappointing my swimming buddies... So, last saturday I lepas geram lah.

I went swimming with my usual swimming buddies; Pian, (Adji couldn't make it) *Iley, *Mel & *Mon (* are not regular members but on invitation basis. hehehe. But I guess some will be regular members since some dunno how to swim... heheh).

So bila dah kemaruk sangat nak swimming, we went very early. 3 pm! Wah, under the hot sun some more! After half an hour, my skin starts to turn into a sexy (?!) reddish hue a la lobster. What did I do? Nah, Don't care.

Balik rumah, huhuhu.... Then only start to fret... Red is not that sexy, not when it is guaranteed that it will turn into a burnt hue... Argh!!!! Time tu la start sibuk2 sapu losyen... (Lesson: Never forget your sunblock, kids!)

So right now, am stuck with a zebra/tapir skin. Berbelang-belang... hahahha... Maybe I shud have worn a bikini, then it'll be (almost) all over tan/(hangus)... Heheheh... (Dalam mimpi lah tu...huahuahua)

But then, I don't give a care...

This evening will be swimming again... Yay!

HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS

Finally went to watch HOFD with the usual 'Movie Gang' since last night's class was cancelled by my lecturer... so yippee yay! heheheh... Also went swimming (finally!) after missing the weekly sessions since classes (Mon, Wed & Fri) and teaching (Thurs).

aiyakks... off track pulak...

Went at 8 pm. As usual Pian will pick Adji & I up to go to Riverside. Met with Man & his Mem there. Adji was complaining bout his tummy upset... kesian... Sampai2 je kat Riverside, rushed to Guardian Pharmacy to buy 'Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun'... hehehe...

Watched the 9.15 pm show. Wasn't really putting high expectations since been reading the reviews. I am a fan of Zhang Yi Mou films. Red Sorghum, Not One Less, Hero, you name it... Zhang's movie will give your eyes a feast with wonderful colours and scenery. (Who can forget the scene where Zhang Zi Yi duels with Maggie Cheung with golden leaves swirling around them?)

The review somehow warned me not to put my expectations up high... IMO, HOFD seems to be too commercial rather than the artsy movie that Zhang Yi Mou made. The cinematography and direction still have the touch/caress of Zhang Yi Mou- the perfect lights, scenes, colours. Maybe Zhang Yi Mou is pressured to get on the commercial bandwagon post-Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Rimau membongkok, Naga bertapok...hehehhe).

The scenery will take your breath away, the fantastic use of colours, and the action will simply blow your mind. But the story, bleeekk.... Ntahapapa... Sorta get the feeling that this is a Hindi movie only it's in Chinese and minus the golek-golek kat bukit scenes. Sometimes I half expected them to suddenly sampai kat Swiss ke, kat Egypt ke... (One of the scenes where Zi Yi leads Takeshi)

Yang memang unbelievable lah, ada scene yang surely you will "aik?! Tak mati-mati jugak dia nih".

But Takeshi & Zi Yi are a feast to look at... Yummy... heheh

But hey, it's a good show. Watch it, just don't expect too high with this one. Feast your eyes.

Oh, btw, Mr Zhang... Next time don't disappoint us with stories a la Hindi movies. If I wanted to watch mindless romance movies, I'll watch Hindi movies. Stick to what you do best, which is mind-stimulating movies.

SOME THINGS I LEARNED AFTER 24 YEARS OF LIVING... PART 2

$h!T.....

I actually wrote a post but the b!00dY blogger stupid $h!T... now I have to write another b!oodY post!!!

Here goes... *trying very hard to refresh memory with limited retrieval capacity*

1. LOVE IS BLIND (Where you look beyond the differences & flaws of your partner. Kira unconditional love lah ni)



2. LOVE BLINDNESS CAN BE CURED ( When the differences & flaws slaps you back to reality. Welcome back to earth!)



3. AGE IS A STATE OF MIND (It's all in your head)



4. My parents still thinks I'm twelve *sigh*



5. Take care of the golf balls first



6. PAIN GIVES STRENGTH & ENDURANCE



7. LAUGH & BE HAPPY (sheesh... sounds cheesy or wat?)



8. I can be a scary sight... (Definitely when lack of sleep, NO COFFEE or one too many person piss me off... I HAVE VERY LIMITED PATIENCE)



9. I'm a REBEL (with a cause)



10. People are as multi-layered as a Matrushka Doll ( There's always another shell under that shell).

... to be continued (I hope this turn out ok... If not, double fark!!!)

SOME THINGS I LEARNED AFTER 24 YEARS OF LIVING... PART 1

After living, breathing etc. for more than 24 years, these are the stuffs that I learned after experiencing and observing things around me. Some of the lessons I've learnt are:

1. Some friends may use and abuse you



2. Long Distance Relationship never work (unless both are persistent/committed/trustworthy, yadda...yadda... only works in IDEAL CASE (read: uh, not in reality) scenario )



3. Inter-Cultural Romantic Relationship is difficult to work out (unless you are absof**kingly devoted to each other. i.e: LOVE IS BLIND THINGY ala Hindi Movie).



4. (some) Men couldn't be trusted



5. A normal girl/guy friend can be the next girlfriend/boyfriend. ( Take the step when you are really sure it will work out. cause if it didn't, it will never be the same, ever)



6. Beware of your guy's/girl's best friend. (Sh*t! I ignored a friend's advice on this. Look what it did to me)



7. Don't ever change for anyone. I am who I am. If ppl don't like it, tell 'em to shove it somewhere the sun don't shine...



8. Don't give any s**t of care to anyone who doesn't deserve it



9. Love, lust, whatever... it always ends with pain



10. Some things that ends, are better ended than started in the first place

I need a break!!!

THE ROOM

17 year old Brian Moore was asked to write something about Heaven in school. It was his best essay; it literally stunned his class.

But sadly, it was also his last. He was killed in a car accident on May 27, 1997. His parents pinned essay in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it, " Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of
wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers."

Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many
more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards?

But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I
knew that each file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came.I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I
pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could
bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes.

But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive.

The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.

I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door.

There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13


"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

If you feel the same way spread it to as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

MONSTER RETURNS

My lab will be closed for exhibition during the convocation week. Argh!!! Damn!

Not that I am pissed off becoz of it but the way some people told me.

"Are you master student?!" *with high-pitched voice*
(of course I'm a master student, you moron... Do u think I saja2 masuk buat selamba in Master lab???)

"This lab is closed, we're using it for the exhibition"

$hiT!!!

Come on lah, I masuk lab baru nak bagi tau. I know you're a *toot* but say it nicely (manners... manners... ). A little apology thrown in would be nice. Don't you bl**dy know that you're actually causing lots of inconvenience to me??!! Kalau nak close lab ni pun, inform me earlier lah.

Okay, maybe I'm over-reacting... But face it, telling bad news in a bad way to a sleep-deprived person and expect them to take it easy, it's like standing in the middle of the PLUS-highway and expecting everyone to bagi laluan. Yeah, right. I'm no saint okay... U give me dirt, I'll give you that and more...

So yeah, I'm rude. so what? At least I'm selectively rude. at the right person.

and oh yeah, don't mess with me when i didn't have enough sleep. I can be a monster.

p/s: wanted to have lunch with a friend. cancelled. shit! fine! seems like everyone is testing the limits of my limited patience... GRRR!!!!!!

DAD, MUM & ME

Do you think i look similar to my dad or my mum?

I ikut muka sapa??? heheh...

IN CLASS

In class at the moment. Statistics and SPSS.

Feel sleepy. Can't open eyes. feel heavy. very drowsy...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

NEW SHOUTBOX

I've switched to using shoutbox. Bangga sebab developer dia org Sarawak jugak. Heheheh...

Credits n thanks to Junaidix for the shoutbox.

FUN WEEKEND (SUNDAY)

Went to St. Joseph for Mass. Met member lama from CSSUKM days. Met UiTM YCG ppl.

Chatted with Br. Jeffry (Jeremy?) frm St. Peter's College (SPC). Br. J, thanks for the kopi kaw2... hehehe... Br. J, Br. Phillip... Thanks for the compliments. It's my way of expressing my worship.

The UNICS gang had lunch with 2 Brothers (Seminarians) frm SPC (forgot their names... heheh.. Sorry Bro... ). Thanks to Chris.T for being my banker for the day.

After Fellowship meeting went to makan2. Met member lama frm undergrad years n lepak2. Pian Janggut bought a camera phone for only RM500. Hahaha... Played around with it. Cool... So now how? I wan a samsung but terpikat pulak with that phone.... argh!!!!

A fren called at 2.46 am. I was like, what the $%^%?!!! ( Sapa suruh call tgh aku syok tido?) Sorry la kawan, 3 times u dtg Kch, 3 times oso lah u didn't jumpa me... heheh. Next time maybe...

FUN WEEKEND (SATURDAY)

Had a fun Saturday. Went to Gabungan Pelajar Kristian (GPK) Concert in St. Peter's College. My campus in charge of the food & drinks stall as well as performing for praise & worship sing-along.

Lots of fun during the praise & worship session. Got lots of compliments for our dance routine. Thanks UNICS gang for being sporting enuff... Heheheh...

Hmmm... Thinking of joining the GPK retreat in September in Mt. Singai. We'll see bout that (if no class ok lah). Might be involved as one of the dancers.

Arrived home at 11.30 pm. Dead tired. Mandi. Hit the bed and instantly zzzzzzzzzzzzz........

UNDELIVERED???

Ever wondered where your "lost" mail ended OR how it got "lost" in the first place??? Read this.

Grrr...

SPONGEBRAIN

I have a huge headache... Actually been having this persistent headache for quite sometime already... Sort of an on-off thingy. But lately I realized that I've been experiencing it more frequently... And yesterday was an exceptional example of one of a grand proportion. And I mean GRAND (read: HUGE)

I woke up with a throbbing pain in my head. I took a shower, nope, didn't help. I took deep breaths, nope, didn't help either. I didn't take any meds coz I thought that it will cease. Man, I was so dead wrong. I went to uni, I had things to attend to (lecturers, projects, yadda, yadda). I stayed inside the lab to do my work when I felt that the pain escalates into something bigger.

My reaction: Ignore the pain. It will go away.

Hohohoh... The pain wouldn't go away. I went back early at about 4.30 pm (I got lecture at 7.00 pm). The walk back home was a torture. Felt ter'awang-awangan' (I'm floating!!!) and blurry eyed.

When I reached home, I threw up. Yeah, it was that bad. Asked Lin to urut my head (Oh, please...please... make the pain go away...). Ah, relief...

My housemates were all against the idea of me going to class (What if you pengsan/muntah/die/etc???). So I stayed at home. Took my bath and rest. Then...

WHAM!!! The headache returns... My brain felt like a sponge being squeezed n unsqueezed. That's it!!! I'm declaring war against my headache. I went to bed, swallowed painkiller strong enough to numb a horse and slept. like a log.

Woke up today, minus a headache... =)

So today I will be meeting my Doc again (hmm... been meeting her regularly on weekly basis) and let her figure out what is wrong.

OR

I can trade-in my headaches... Any takers?Anyone? aaannnyyyyooonnnee???

(Right now u must be thinking, Wah, my headache sure very dahsyat until it affects my cognition... Yeah, you are right... now I can read minds... Hahahaha!!! o_O )

Hmm... gotta go buy my lunch now... so I can threw it all up later
... Tata....

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS!!!

This violence is insane! When will all this mindless violence cease? When will everyone starts to accept the differences and focus on the similarities. They hate the Americans, Britons, Israelis, etc., BUT WHY KILL THE CHRISTIANS???? What have they done to deserve this? Is it because of their faith?! America also have Moslems, Buddhists, Hindus, etc. Do this mean that they will bomb a mosque, temple or kuil next?!

You worship God, I worship God... So, where's the Godliness of these actions???

God is love, to love is to serve God.

Don't get me wrong here... I'm not judging anyone by their religion... To me, everyone is free to practise their faith. I just can't accept the violence that is bred by ignorance/extremism be it by a Christian or others.

RANDOM THOTS

Reading the news online when some headlines caught my eyes.

Reading this, how I wished they thought of it while I was in my undergraduate years... *sigh*

and this, serves as a warning to anyone yang berminat nak having vertical tango dalam kereta (read: "kereta rosak"). Beware!!! Hehehe...

This tribute to a loved one brings tears to my eyes and I greatly admire their strength and faith in this tragedy. I can't imagine how I will survive if I lost my loved ones.

Grudge kills.

I want to watch this and this.

I need coffee... Teaching TMX is stressful...

p/s: I know I promised a post about Singai Retreat... But too busy... Will write soon... I promise =)