Some a$$hole stole my hp!!!

This is a rant. A vent to release some anger...

Last wednesday some a$$hole stole my handphone from right under my nose (literally)... I was handing out payments to the part-timers (they will come work during functions and paid hourly)... I was busy and in between answering and making calls when in the middle of things, I put my handphone down next to my arm on the desk (careless of me, i know. Ain't hindsight always have to be so bloody 20/20), thinking that it will be okay.

Wrong.

Just when I almost finished paying the last few part-timers, I noticed, eh, mana handphone aku ni??? I borrowed a part-timers phone to call my number just in case my phone fell somewhere, I got into voicemail....and I got that nasty feeling in my gut and the reality hits me! some a$$hole actually had the nerve to curik my handphone terang2an... If only I dapat budak pencurik tu, aku hantar pi budak2 staff aku biar dia kena tibai, and then kerat hujung jari dia, biar semua org tau dia tu pencurik. Kejam??? Oh no, that is still not kejam by my standard. That's proper retribution. I know about the forgive and forget stuffs, but face it, in that handphone (biar tak lawa, tak canggih, tak mahal...) There are lots of memories there. The pics, the SMSes, and importantly contact numbers of all my friends and families. How the hella are they gonna contact me???

Contacted Dad. Dad being my hero, came to the rescue. One hour later, I got a new handphone courtesy of Dad. Thanks, aba... U're my hero

So friends, please email me and give me your contact number. If u're on friendster, my hp number is announced in the bulletin...

*****************

I am supposed to be on leave tommorrow but have a meeting to attend. 2-days meeting 9am-6pm. Sengal la otak aku meeting ni. Dah la almost 2 minggu kerja non-stop (tell u about that later..)

Bos org putih pun nak datang. aiseh. lagi sengal.

I'M BACK... SOMEWHAT...

Pheww... It's almost two months since I started working and life is SO HECTIC... Sampai2 jak rumah, mandi then the thing that I wanted to do most is zzZZZzzzzZZZZzzZZZ... Since there's no internet connection at my place in Sibu, the only time I got to surF is when I balik Bintangor (tu pun kalau balik). work is busy (very) but it's a situation that I get to like. Every day there's more things to stimulate/challenge me. Granted, there are times when I felt like wanting to snap ppl's head off but only in my imaginations la (a la Scrubs). So far only managed to make one girl cry la when I tegur her (that is not even using my super toxic acidic strength-level of a good earbending)... Am I losing my 'garang'ness? Heheh... no lah. But the kids sure know never to mess around when it's working time..muahahahHAHAHAHAhaha *evil laugh* Ello, jgn buat bende bodo la kalo nak selamat.Karang ada bende tak betul, aku jugak le jenuh nak membetulnya! Lepas tu, siap le sesekor aku 'tiau' bagus2...

Hari Raya? Sebijik rumah pun tak pergi. Sorry sesangat le ye. Sepupu aku sendiri pun aku tak pi rumah... Tak cuti laaaa...Back from work, macam biasa... Malas nak keluar lagi...

Driving in Sibu??? Hohoho... beware of a deranged female driver in Sibu...muahahahHAAHAHa *evil laugh again* siap la kalo bawa keta/moto/basikal/jalan kaki ala bodo-bodo time aku drive. Apa lagi aku sekarang bawak keta manual..siap le kena sumpah seranah/caci/ maki aku kalo menyusahkan hidup aku driving kat Sibu... (selamba badak biru je aku bawak keta time lesen 'mati'. Tak sedar lesen mati tapi baru je 2 hari. Abg2 dan kakak2 JPJ, saya dah renew pun lesen saya sekarang...:) )

Lepas ni ada function besar2an la pulak. Semua nak buat function kat tempat aku tu. 900 pax utk satu function, belum tambah yg lain lagi same day. Gerenti tak leh balik Bintangor nih...

Jumpa member lama lagi time sekolah dulu2. Budak ni dulu ada juga terlibat membuli aku (time tu aku kecik je/ulat buku (spesies yg mmg jadik target)/ anti keganasan, so senang le dibuli). Cuba kalo sekarang, mauk nye aku jadi pembuli besar... Tapi tu cerita dulu2, budak tu pun minta maaf kat aku... Well, takde cerita2 macam tu, takde pula memori berkekalan... Anyway, they made me stronger also (sebab my bro taught me to box and self-defence, so jadik la aku yg ganas skrg ni)..hehehe

** Actually cerita2 kat atas ni very unorganized. I am sleepy, tommorow gotta wake up early (tak update karang, ada le yg bising2). so take care y'all.

ON THE THIRD DAY...

I am tired (we're having a BIG international function) so next time I'll post about the first days on the job. The only thing I want to do is to lie down and sleep... But *argh!* got exam paper to set and lecture to prepare...

So far, the job is fun and challenging :) and my Bos is sporting. Lucky me!

||iN aNaKaPai's EyEs|| *Updated!*

Hmm... Been so long since my last post. Just need time out to sort some things... Not that everything's sorted out fine, but, at least there's space for some reflection/sharing.

Updates:

1. Last time (4th August) tak jadik go to Kuching. Two days before the trip, Dad was called up to attend training in KL for ONE frickin' month (First two weeks ok, last one week plus Dad kena sakit perut. Seems that he can't stnd KL-food. My bounty (as guard, mum's chauffeur, etc) : 40GB external HDD (I didn't ask for it but Gee, thanks Dad!) & 256MB Memory Card (much needed for my *cough* nak mampus *cough* PC)... Hehehe
2. Since tak jadik go to Kch, everything else (Damai beach, frolicking at beach, Singai, etc.) tak jadik la...
3. The GMB concert, tak pergi...but... the next day as I was sitting in the lobby waiting for my Dad as he went for his interview, one of them actually sat near us. Muahahaha... dah la lama lagi he sat near us but we bodo2 tak perasan... Only after the lead vocalist came to check out from the hotel baru la perasan "Eh, GMB". hehehe... well, tak pi concert but at least did sat near them which is waaayyy better than in a sweaty hot dewan.
4. Stayed at home, watched ASTRO until memorized the siaran...
5. Aggressive job hunting...
6. KPLI sucks! Tau ada surplus of secondary school teachers, why the h3LL offer lagi last time masa isi borang. Now, I don't even have a kuman's chance of getting the interview. b0d0!!
7. Last Monday, was called for interview in Miri, asking me to come for interview the same afternoon! What, I can fly ker? Arranged for one the next day, but no flights to go there n they changed to morning. No way I could make it, so they'll call me again to arrange for another one... (dah tak payah le)
8. I become a part-time tutor in OUM Sibu. Teaching a subject that I loved very much in Uni...The bad thing is, the frickin' module is written in BM and I'm so used to it in English. Cilakak! Have to translate everything again summore!

AND NOW...

I've got a job in Sibu (finally, Halleluyah!) at a new hotel there as a corporate-ikan bilis..Moving to Sibu, renting together with a uni-mate who's also working in Sibu. First will be using motorbike as I am still unfamiliar with the roads in Sibu (Yes Dad, I so terrer in Kuching but dongok-driver in Sibu.. Whose fault is that?). If I can get free *or cheap* parking, then I'll use the car.

Oh, gosh... Gotta tell ya about the house. Semi-D, 2-storey, semi-furnished at RM550. Muahahaha... In Kuching jangan harap nak dapat rent like that. Very spacious lawn... The sad thing is, Dad baru sambung streamyx at home... Waaaaaa!!!!!! Anyway, I'll frequently balik Bintangor if possible.

So, that's the update so far. Dad's going to Langkawi tomorrow (Company-sponsored trip). Send him to airport and kemas my new place.

Emotions: Pretty nervous about my first day at work. Hope I do real well... :)

My friend Ron Aldrino is flying off to Birmingham soon for his masters. Take care and all the best, mate! Iboh lupa ole2 aku kelak!!!hahaha

TODAY ...

I'm going to Kuching. Probably stay for a week max. Need to do long-delayed work on my thesis, break away from the mundane stuffs and seek peace within me...

Hope to catch up with friends and spend some time with my two good friends who'll be leaving for KK next Tuesday.

GMB is in Kuching, but I doubt I will be able to watch them in action *sigh* but I do hope I will be able to go to Mt. Singai for my personal retreat...

p.s: 4th of August maybe'll stay at Damai Lagoon for the weekend. While Dad's busy with the AGM, I'll enjoy the beach! the rainforest!the river! Yay! [ unless Mom forced me to be driver bring all the aunties go jalan2 (read: boring shopping trip) *sigh* :-( ]

Rest in Peace aunty Wasling

Last night I recieved a shocking and sad news. My godbrother, Khong, lost his mother to cancer two weeks ago. I've had the opportunity to be with his mother last year while she was undergoing cancer treatment and I really admire her cheerfulness despite the circumstances. Everytime I visited her, she's always smiling and talkative. She's always kept the positive spirit until the end of the battle.

Aunty Wasling,
I really admire your courage and cheerful spirit in times of adversity.
I really admire you for raising four good and filial sons alone.
I pray that your soul will be resting in God's embrace forever.

Dear friends,

I am having a major bad time now which makes blogging so difficult at the moment. There's an awful mess that I am trying to sort now in my life. When things have been sorted out I will, God willing, return to blogging actively again. Until then, silence. I do, however, visit the blogs I enjoy but sadly, I am in no shape to talk about things right now. Pray that all the cobwebs in my life could be cleared.

Thanks

Happy Gawai n Everything in between

This is just a short post since everyone is asking me to update.

(SEE... I'm updating now)

everything that happened the last few centuries (days, months, whatever):

arguments
anger
fun
frustration
communication breakdown
birth
death,death,death
travel
shopping
busy
work
work
test
self-inflicted accidents
pain


and NO, didn't have Gawai. I spent my Gawai 'nyenggai antu'.
Only visited Grace n Fred today.

That's it till now :)

p.s: Sorry, my mood ran out with my inspiration. Haven't return yet.

QUESTIONS

Lately, I've been thinking about life in general. I've encountered lots of interesting stuff. I've moved further in this journey of self discovery and as to knowing the purpose of my life. Am I destined for great things, or am I forever doomed to being stuck in a dreary life. To be the PERSON or to be the doormat.

Am I happy?
Yes, but.
It's always a YES, BUT answer. I am happy, but not content.

Why am I not content?
I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out.

Everyone wants a great career, earn major moolahs and have the jetset lifestyle most would envy. But what if, the small voice in me asks, what if when you're there, after all the things you do to get there, you realize that you don't really want this? That all you wanted is something simpler. Something that you actually enjoy doing.

But what? I don't know.

If you know, tell me.

CATS & MUM (Last time, u won't hear this in the same sentence)

I don't know what got to my mum now. She used to HATE cats. She used to send my cats flying whenever the poor creature enter her room or *gasp* God forbid, make itself comfy on her bed. But now... She takes another kitten into the house. She did raised our (whole family's) eyebrow when she first brought a kitten she named Pussie. That's okay, but getting two kittens in a row??!!! My my... She even manja-manja the cats now.
(By the way, she refuses to be acknowledged as the owner of the kittens. Tak nak mengaku. If we insist, she'll give away the kittens. Sanggup tu...)

Maybe this starts when I brought my fat cat, Emperor Kechik, last year. Dad and her adores Kechik. Soon, Dad owns another kitten I took from Kuching, a black with white spots we named Chomot (This cat we bagi nama elok2 she tak mau. When my Mum called her Chomot she quickly responded)

So now we owned FOUR cats (and Mum already thinks of picking up another. Noooooo... cause I want to take one from Kuching. A cute one with grey eyes. But to own four, five or six cats???? Susah Oooo. Because my cats don't go outdoors. Got one 'samseng' cat always terrorize the others cats and last time my cat, Chimi, was kidnapped (catnapped). Also it will be crowded and I will be bankrupt just buying the catfood :(

My mum's darling, Pussie, she'll scratch my mum's chair when mum's not around. When Mum's there, she'l sit demurely and lick herself clean. Pandai mengampu punya kucing. She cute tho'. Cute and silly. Hahaha. (But don't tell Mum I said that :p )

UNIMAS Memories (Undergrad Years)

The Gangs:::

• The SK gang: Me, Zabri, Kak Mah, Shah, Indra P(Bapak), Indra S, WengChin (I swear his brains talks in binary), JohnGagakHitam, Godak, Ayeng, Adeq, Azean, Milah, Khairul (Kambing), ChewYing(Amoi), KuanYin, SokFeng, MengWei, Wilson (ProfWilson), Irene, Jerry Ooi, Firman (AChong), Aliester. We were the craziest, rowdiest and most gila creative-outa-our-head bunch of SK students. Our lecturer always remembered us because of that. We were a small group and so we were close. Our motto was: Kita masuk sama-sama, Kita grad sama-sama. Meaning, we will help each other and make sure no one gets left behind. *isk* I miss those times of camaraderie. Sure, we did have some internal crisis within the group but in the end, we'll still overcome it.
• My Housemates: Miena (my best friend), Helen, Mami, Hetty (dunno where she is now), Fairuz, PoLin and some others who were either unmemorable enough or they managed to piss me off beyond help. Miena is still the best one. She's the one to care for me when I have fever (I often get those during my undergrad years), masak bubur, beli ikan goreng. That's why I love her lots :)
• My gang : Angel, Ina, SooWai. We were crazy then. The booze and the ciggie bonding time. Although I kinda fell out with one cause I felt unappreciated and taken advantage of. And she knows I am not one to sit still and let her get away with it. Will we get over that, I don't know.
• My Moginum gang: Juliana (JoJoe), Miena. Aramaiti! Damai Jom!!!

The Places:::

• Kolej Sri Muara: The best place to stay! Conveniently situated and *ahem* very suitable for my aramaiti sessions. huhahahah. My housemate bawak TV, fridge, cooking stove & gas cylinders. Wah! Heaven la.
• Kolej Kenyalang (Previously Kolej Sebayor, Now it's Kolej Tun Ahmad Zaidi) : Sucks BIG TIME!!! I used to dub it as Penjara Wanita Sebayor cause that's what it felt like. We were in the middle of nowhere, no transport, all girls (bosan girls who dunno what seronok fun is). Only my aramaiti sessions kept me sane there. They were constructing the new campus nearby so it was a dusty hell.
• PohonMas : Ok food. I liked the owner, Aunty. She is very friendly and warm. But when one got out from the pace, everyone will know that you went there cause you'll have that PohonMas smell.
• FoodCourt : Used to love the Indian stall - heavenly mutton curry, but they closed already. Uncle Chinese food also great- his son always give me extra & cheap. :p But need to know how to avoid the rush hour la.
• Pasara Bookstore: Deng & Barth!!! These two rocks. My friends also. Loved to kutuk2 Barth..muahahaha

The *ahems* I did::: (Hopefully Dad doesn't read this.ever)

• Escape Class : My coursemates call me the Expert. Not that I view it as ponteng but think of it as self-paced-constructive-study. Cause if the 3-hour class just give me what I can get myself from the book, in say 1 hour, then the time is better spent on other pursuits like makan or sleeping. Despite being a slacker extraordinaire, I did manage to get very good grades. It's all about strategies and smart studying habits, boys and girls. :p
• Aramaiti Sessions
• Ciggie : Now quit already la!

----- to be continued

My Easter weekend

Happy belated Easter everyone! Be glad and rejoice for He is risen!

My Easter weekend are messy events of sorts. Went back to my kampung on Friday evening, reached there around 7 pm. After dinner (cold, cause we ran out of cooking gas), Dad went to the next bilik to visit my 'aya bilik sepiak' (next door uncle) who was not well. He's been unwell for quite some time already. Suddenly it got worse and he was coughing and vomiting blood. Dad and few others rushed him to Sibu Hospital. When they got back, Dad told us that 'aya' was admitted into the ICU. His BP was more than 200 and his lungs was collapsing.

The next morning went to visit my ancestors' graves. I brought flowers for my grandpa(aki Minde' / aki Enggit), great-grandpa(aki Giri), great-grandma(ini Nyipan), my dad's lil sisters, my favourite granduncle(aki Jugam) and my elder sister (we always refer to her as Kakak). Cleaned the area and prayed for their souls. The atmosphere at the burial grounds was so merry and crowded, it's almost like a fiesta. Visited my other relatives' graves as well.

Later, we returned home to Bintangor. Was so tired but I went for the Easter Vigil. Had dinner and then went to bed. zzZZZZZzzzz. The next morning, after Easter Mass, my cousin (aya bilik sepiak's son) called Dad to tell that my uncle got worse suddenly even though he was improving before that. Went to visit him in the ICU ward, he was no longer using respiratory support system but he was rather delirious. Cousin said that the Doctor told that aya had no chance for full recovery and his lungs,kidney,heart is failing. He can't even use I.V. drips or recieve blood transfusion as his veins is collapsed. Yesterday, he was transferred into the male ward and discharged today.He's still weak but at least he can down some fluids. Kasih meda iya merinsa baka nya :(

When we reached home that night, I was so tired that I slept before 10pm. It was a tiring weekend with mixture of emotions. I learnt also that another uncle (aya selang 3 bilik -Aya Umau) is suffering from bone cancer. Aduh! He's going for chemoteraphy next month if I am not wrong.

Update

I went to Kuching last friday.Took the last bus that was scheduled to leave at 10.30 pm but the bus didn't arrive until it was 11.30 pm. Then, went on to fill up the fuel tank at the petrol station. Finally, left for Kuching at midnight. The bus was full, i was wondering why, but from the lady sitting next to me I learnt that it was transporting the factory workers returning to their country, Indonesia. So, I was in a bus filled with foreign workers but I was relieved because they are well mannered, quite unlike those I had known before. The bus ride was uneventful, though I think the lady next to me was interested in small talk, but I was so damn tired from work and stressed because the VIP scheduled the appointment at the last minute. Slept on off during the journey. Reached Kuching at 530 am, my friends were waiting for me already. We went for breakfast at 3rd mile, was disappointed because not much choice there. Just ate some kueh chap, not that nice la.

Stayed at my friends' place. Slept for 2 hours. Then off for my appointment with the VIP. It was ok, she gave me constructive comments and guidance.

Later, we went around Kuching to do some shopping. I bought some stuffs but mainly it was supplies for my pet. Went to BDC for the one-of-a-kind bah kut teh. Mmmm... must have those whenever I am in Kuching. Went to SGH to get my referral letter from the ENT specialist. Then, went to Wisma Saberkas to get charger for my handphone as I forgot to bring it. I wanted to buy dinner for my niece in UiTM at the HK noodle house.

Surprise, surprise... I met DeeJay and his family having dinner. At first didn't want to intrude so I sent him SMS. Then I went to say Hi. Wah, good seeing my aunt and lil' cousin that I always see and read about in his blog :) Couldn't chat for long as I need to visit my niece in UiTM.

Went for dinner at the makan place in Jalan Song. satay was good, BBQ chicken wing was ok-ok, but the oyster egg or whatever name it was, it sucks. Tak sedap langsung :( Bought some more tapau (she specifically asked for the non-halal meat variety) and food supplies for my niece. Went to visit her for a while and chat a bit.

To my buddies in Kuching, thanks very much for the stay and jalan2. Heheh.. by the end of the day, everyone K.O.ed from tiredness.

The next day went back using express boat. I slept almost the whole journey. Reached home and slept some more...zzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzz

Things I Am ALLERGIC TO...

1. Prawn Crackers - just the crackers made from prawn. Even a tiny bit and i will have Real Bad Time. Fresh prawns, belacan, bubuk, cincaluk: bring it on babe. I'll eat those and nothing happen. No allergic reaction. Just allergic to prawn crackers. Funny ain't it?
2. Weed, vines, grass - I develop the habit of not walking on grass due to this. One small scratch from the lalang/rumput/weed, I'll develop a nasty itching and I'll scratch my skin till it bled. Then I will have kudis from the infection. Nope, you won't see me rolling around grassy hills ala Bollywood.
3. Peanut - One tiny piece of it = A nasty case of my facial skin breaking out in bumps and lumps. Though some times, whaddahell, I makan jugak especially during satay binge :) After that, suffer la...
4. Dust - Respiratory problems, airways will get congested, nose starts running (hidungku mula berlari). Clarinase will save the day. But it will be hell while waiting for the medication to take effect.
5. Peria, pegaga, bamboo shoots(rebung),nasty pahit chlorophyl-smelly stuff - Not allergic but I will never eat those stuffs. Cannot swallow and reflex gag action will occur. Do not force me attempt to eat it in front of you...
6. 'Seredah' idiots - Keep them away from me. Very far away. Cuthess knows one of the specimen :p huhuhu. Right Cat?
7. Beavis & Butthead - Two pathetic psycho idiots that I wrote about before. Man, they're seriously mental!

There are a bit more but I couldn't really think of them at the moment. Sometimes people offer me things that I am allergic to, I have to decline (at the risk of giving them bad impression) but I do have a weak spot for kuah kacang. Anyone invented anything to replace the peanut in the kuah kacang yet?

CHING MING / EASTER WEEKEND

This Wednesday will be 'cuti peristiwa' for Ching Ming or the Chinese Tomb festival. It is the day when the chinese will visit their ancestor's tomb. Nowadays, more people visit their ancestors' tomb on other days within the week. This is to avoid the *groan* traffic jams (which promptly rules out any road trip for me). On that day itself, I will most certainly be irritated by:

a) the traffic jams
b) the smoke from burning paper money, paper 'clothes', paper TV set, paper mercedes/sportscars, etc.
c) did i mention the traffic jam?
d) i will be stuck at home
e) i can't go take my usual wantan cos' the 'amoi' pun mau lawat kubur ma
f) it's going to be hot and irritating because of the burning cause there a cemetery not far from our housing area (it used to scare the s*!t out of me in my childhood.the cemetery used to be so gila obvious from our house last time.macam main peek-a-boo with the graves.)

......................................

Next week, however, will be our (my family & I) turn to visit our ancestors' graves during the Easter weekend. The last time I went to visit the burial grounds, it was during the 'tomb raiding b@st@rds' were raiding the graves all over Sarawak. Some of my relatives' graves was raided and the valuables or 'baiya'was taken. Some scattered bones were found here and there. Luckily my grandad's was not disturbed. The past few years I was unable to return for the Easter holidays but whether I'll be going to the burial grounds this year depends very much on the state of my allergy to vines and weeds. I wouldn't want to return to school with rashes and scratch marks all over my skin, not to mention suffering severe agony from the itches.

Cancelled/Dentist/Hair

My trip to Kch was cancelled cos I couldn't contact the VIP. Ches!!! Will try to set another appoinment next weekend. If tak jugak, aku go ahead aja with my research.pedulik la....

So, what I did today. Hmm, planned to go to dentist in Sarikei cos my gigi berlubang-lubang been giving me many wonderful sensations whenever I ate anything cold. :(

Now, I am very much a phobic when it comes to seeing a dentist. It all started in primary 2 when I *ahem* to Mum's horror *ahem* tumbuk the dentist that was attempting to extract my tooth sans-anaesthetic. palotak dia nak cabut gigi aku tak kasi numb aku punya gusi... Since then, I loathe the time I have to see a dentist. Used to require Dad blasting his laser-beam-resistance-weakening stare to enable the dentist to pry open my mouth :(

*ahem* back to what I did, so we went to the clinic and I asked the receptionist/nurse about the charges for ONE tooth filling.

"Lubang kecil charge RM40. Kalau lubang gigi besar lagi maybe RM 50-60 itu macam."

What?!!! Fill my lubang gigi with GOLD ka??? (dalam hati)

So, I cancelled my plan. Will go to local Bintangor dentist la... with Dad to give the necessary forcesupport. :(

Also, I curled my hair again. Haha. It's the easiest no fuss hairstyle. Fesyen rambut sesuai for orang malas like me... :) Now I don't have to suffer everytime I style my hair to make it neat (I never could) cos I'll just tie it ponytail messily and it still looks stylish. Hehe... No pic though. Cam ran out of battery

Edu System / Bimbingan / Kuching again

One of my blogger fellows posted about western and eastern education system.In my post grad courses, one of the most discussed topic (debate/argument) that we always have is the pros and cons of each system. And these are my kurang dua sen's worth (that I posted in her blog)... (Warning = written in Rojak Iban-English-Malay)

Our system want to pack everything in the 11 years of compulsory education. But sadly, bisi sekeda parts enda dipeduli.. soft skills, thinking skills and creativity was not given ample room to grow and nurtured. and yet they complain of the quality of the graduates, even though graduates are the products of schools also... The current system membiasakan anembiak kitai to merely be exam robots. enti ka bulih result manah, mesti skor exam... and too many extra curricular activities actually add unneccessary burden to students. enda ulih concentrate dalam kelas, kelalu lelak Ko-K. Pelajar tinduk dalam kelas, cikgu dipesalah enda nemu narit attention anembiak...

Anembiak mayuh pengawa, cikgu berkali-kali ganda pengawa bertambah.tambah agi enggau benda2 yang nadai berkaitan enggau 'core business' of teachers, which is teaching. No wonder in one of the states in M'sia, more than 60% patients ba psychiatric ward are teachers. Frightening isn't it?

But in western edu system pun bisi drawback mimit. because of no uniform syllabus between schools, nya meh bisi cases of Guru mengajar utai ke liberal; sex ed. at young age, etc... One of the studies found that compared to Asian students, their performance is much lower in subjects like maths and science. One good thing is that, the educational environment din, is conducive for creativity in learning...

Hopefully we can have a formula for our own educational setting. One that fits, Malaysian style.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Oh ya, I plan to do kelas bimbingan for 10 of my students in the kelas hujung2an. I could see their interest and drive to improve themselves, so I'll be giving my extra time to assist them. The rest, they couldn't care less.Tak mau tolong diri sendiri, sudah. Tak kuasa aku ka ngansak sida... Ngasuh ati aku pedis ensiban meda sida masau peluang belajar... Maybe in due course I will be adding more students but I want to keep the group small. Easier to give attention to them..

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going to Kch again this weekend. another blogger from Bintangor will also be there. Konvoi sama2 pulai on Sunday...

ADUSSSSS!!!!

Some memorable 'quotes' courtesy of my students' answers in their paper 2:

After Ali dilanggar motorsikal axiden Ali no seput.

The motorcycle driver can not break and they bertembung.

Adussss... There are more but I couldn't remember clearly. Found these type of sentences in about 1++ essays out of 2++ papers marked.
Headache to mark but very entertaining to read. I was rolling around laughing so hard at some of the 'creative' answers.

I confess...

that I am guilty of these sins

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very High
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Greed:

Not as greedy per se, but I'd like to think of it as what I desire from life. The things that drives me to push myself harder and not be easily satisfied and pacified by the comforts around me. If good is achievable, better is possible and so best is also within reach. If that makes me greedy, then I plead guilty.

Gluttony:

I have love-hate relationship with food. Some days I'd have all the appetite of an elephant, other days I'd simply eat for the sake of avoiding hunger and gastric pains. No, I'm not having eating disorder. I'm just like that.

Wrath:

No surprise. I am a ticking time bomb under self-imposed anger management. Heaven help any fool who dares to pull out the safety pin.

Sloth:

When I'm rajin, I'll be super-perfectly anal about cleanliness and neatness. When I'm not, then I couldn't care less

Envy:

If someone can do that, why not me? Is that envy? Envy for a good cause (i.e: self improvement) is okay with me. Not the detestful green-eyed monster-type that wants to destruct others.

Lust:

ummm... lust for life, knowledge, love, passion, etc. (blur a bit on this la)... Horny hamsap type also included ka?

Pride:

I wouldn't trade me for other, that's for sure. I am uniquely me, a person full of contradictions (not to mention stubborn, maverick, rebellious).

What are your sins?

F.T.F.F.U.F!!!! ... This is a rant

or...
F**k the F***ing F***ed Up F***ers!!!

Because if not for these people, my research would have been almost completed now. Last time, they told me need to do this, follow this procedure, bla, bla, bla...

Now, No need go through that procedure, do like this, this, that... No need letter, have easier way.

Last time the VIP (Carneyz punya dia panggil Trump, aku panggil le aku punya the VIP) told me that my scope of research is too narrow and I need to broaden it up, and so I did. Dutiful and diligent student.
Now, she suggests that I narrow it down. Gee, guess what? It was exactly what I did before I was asked to make the changes.

%&*($&^&!!!!!

Argh!!! FTFFUF!!!!

(Note to readers: Doing post grad courses will seriously expose you to the risks of hypertension and cardio-diseases. Not to mention of bouts of anger fits, temporary insanity, the urge to strangle the next fool who criticize your job as 'teacher very senang, work half day only ma')

[Yes, I almost bit my junior's head off when she commented that I had things easy since I am a teacher now. work half-day, can relax more.

Eh, excuse me ah, teacher job not THAT easy as you might think. It is a 24-7 job. Outside teaching hours we have extra-curricular activities, extra classes, tutorials. At night plan the lessons and prepare things to do. I barely even have enough time to do my research. You still think I had it easy?...etc...

After been verbally mauled by me, she was sure scared and scarred by that experience. Ya lah, I'm in a foul mood lagi mau minta maut. Padan muka.Lagi nak bagi komen bodo.]

Anakapai is TWO!

I totally forgot that In Anakapai's Eyes is now two years old already. Too busy and simple case of things slipping off my mind...

Started off in February 2004, mostly just random things that occur around me or sometimes, rare ponderings and musings of deeper stuffs.This blogs was there when I was at some low points in my journey as post-grad student, daily rant and raves. Through this blog I've many newfound friends (and an uncle!), those I never see in real life but seem more alive than some of those I see in front of me. They shared my happy moments, cheered me when I am feeling down, bear me when I am in a ranty, bitchy mood, and prayed for me. Thanks people!

I've also met a few blog buddies in real life. They are as interesting as their blog, that I can tell you. Am looking forward to meet more...

Albeit that, this blog also has those 'dead frog' moments when I am at lost of what to post, simply too busy or don't give a d*mn. I would like to confess that thoughts of closing down this blog (Noooooo) did pass my mind at some point. Thankfully, the blog-suicidal thought went away.

Here's to many more post in Anakapai's Eyes. Cheers!

LOBO, music & Childhood / Proposal / Trip

Am currently getting the lyrics for Lobo songs for my Dad. Bought the CD for him last year as Christmas gift. Dad and I have similar interests in music though he draws the line at my LP music and hard rock and metal stuffs.Meanwhile, I draw the line at dangdut-influenced musics (which explain greatly why I'm not a big fan of local Dayak music).

I grew up to the sounds of those oldies music, country rock and Boney M. Uh-huh. Boney M. Those kembang afro hair and huge bell bottom pants. I can still sing to their songs until now. Hehe.

What about mum? She only listens to her P.Ramlee and Saloma songs with other Malay oldies singer though she loves the King of Rock-n-Roll (jambul gila dahsyat and pout can beat A.Jolie's anytime) Elvis Presley. She detests my noisy music. Not much similarity in music preference with her.

Maybe its because I'm more close with my Dad (repairing cars, bikes, building stuffs) and am a tomboy by nature and Mum simply can't turn me into that sweet-clean-demure little girl. I tore the new dress that she made for me in a matter of few hours (I climbed trees in it. Trees and cute frock don't match). I am hopeless at knitting / crocheting (yuck!) and I can't sit and be quiet and do all those girly stuffs that girls my age do. I'm most likely to be seen on the trees (now I am afraid of heights!), bushes, top of the water tank tower (you should hear my mum scream. priceless! but I got grounded for that. Shucks!), usually playing street football with the boys(This was in late 80's, we created futsal). Even some boys can't take what I did and those poor sissy mummy's boy ran back to their mommies. Hehe *evil grin*

p/s: For any poor sissy mommies boy I've ever hurt their feelings, uh, sorry?
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Proposal is finally polished up. Many thanks to DeeJay for helping me wth much appreciated feedbacks and comments. :) Miraculously didn't blast the house roof off with my LP music but with silence and the sound of the rain.
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Tomorrow I'm going to Kch. Dunno what time will be going, and by what (bus or boat). Will definitely catch up with friends once I'm there.

Time to play my LP music :-D

Slacker Mode / Show on TV

Someone help me... Please, please jolt me out of this 'slacker mode'. Really need to polish my thesis proposal for approval and the only time I can go meet my supervisor is within this week but the 'slacker on' button is jammed.

Argh!!!

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My new favourite TV show is Doc Martin. Simply loved his dry humour and wit. Laughed out loud when watching the show.

Synopsis of the show :-)
Martin Clunes stars in Doc Martin, a brand new comedy drama, as a doctor whose truculence and tactless manner causes mayhem in a small Cornish community.
Martin plays surgeon Martin Ellingham, whose glittering career comes crashing down around him when he develops a phobia which prevents him conducting operations. He makes a life changing decision to retrain as a GP, and applies for a vacant post in the sleepy Cornish hamlet of Portwenn, where he spent childhood holidays.
If the patients are expecting tea and sympathy from their curmudgeonly GP they are going to be disappointed. Despite his surgical brilliance, he has no personal skills, and his understanding of humans is practically non existent.
Martin is joined by a prestigious cast which includes Stephanie Cole as his Aunt Joan, who provides him with emotional support in the face of the disquiet among the villagers. Caroline Catz plays pretty primary school teacher Louisa Glasson. Doc Martin is attracted to her, but he is hopeless at personal relationships.

Accident / Examiner's Blues / Holiday Plan / Uncle in Cyberspace?

Last week (Thursday) my sister had a bad accident. She lost control of her car when she drove over a pool of water on the road (Complaints on this puddle of water and bad road condition has been forwarded to the authorities but so far, no actions been taken. Hopefully after my sis' accident, these people will wisen up or else something WILL BE DONE using other avenues). Narrowly missing the electric pole, the car (IZUSU Trooper), turned a few times and landed in the small parit-cum-river and the tide is still rising.Thankfully their car is a big car so it was not fully submerged. If they are driving a small car, I cannot imagine what will happen. There were four people in the car, my sis, her two children and her helper.. Praise God, they escaped with scrapes and bruises and minor cuts (Sis was hospitalised day before yesterday due to dislocated kneecap but she's out yesterday). Actually, I believed a miracle happened that evening but that's something for another time perhaps.

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Am examining my students exam papers at the moment.
Paper 1 (Objective) is EASY PEASY to mark.
Paper 2 is NIGHTMARE.
In between laughing, smiling and frowning, sometimes I am surprised (horrified) at the level that they (students) are in their writing skill. Most have very poor writing skill. Some at the point of simply giving up. Something must be done to help them improve their writing. Creativity can't be taught but can be nurtured. At least they have the skills to write or 'goreng' a story up in their writing assessments. A daunting task indeed.

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This coming school holidays I'll be in Kuching to meet up with my thesis supervisor (She must be wondering where the hell I am..hehe), some admin stuffs and maybe arrange for my case to be transferred from SGH specialist to Sibu specialist ( Not Sarikei, since THAT horrible doctor in Bintangor is now there as the Hospital Director..Mati..Mati..). Hope to meet up with friends in Kuching and catch up on the happenings and whatnots.

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Imagine how freakydeaky this is...
Me : *Not paying attention.eyes glued to TV.*
Dad : Bla..bla.. your aki Jerukan ..bla..bla..bla..
Me : Aki who???
Dad : Your aki Jerukan, Douglas Jerukan.
Me : Wait a minute, he's from our place ke? (Cucu durhaka ni)
Dad: Ya. Your ini is from Beguang.
Me : He got a son?
Dad: Oh, Desmond ka. Ya la... I think he's in Kuching now.
Me : Aaahhhhh... Freaky....
Dad & Mum: ??????

Deejay, hehehe...what a small,itsy,bitsy world eh.

Pray for my nephew-in-law who was involved in serious accident last saturday in Kuching. He's working with the armed forces, just got married last January and now his left hand was amputated because serious injuries.

Pray for him, his wife and the family so that they will have strength to face this great adversity. Thank you

SERBANA ATI NGENANG ANEMBIAK

Saritu udah nyau ka genap dua bulan aku megai pengawa ti nyadi pengajar. Tusah, ukai kategal pengawa ti mayuh (sigi baka bekuli makai gaji meh nya), tang kategal ngenang kini tuju anembiak rebak dudi. Pengawa nyadi pengajar sigi berat dikereja, laban tandan bahu ti bendar ngesan ma' ti berat. Pengidup anembiak tu jemah ila sigi bisi bepanggai ba pengulih sida dalam pelajar. Ke agi iya, pengajar meruan ngesan pengandal apai indai sida ti deka ka bala anak tudah nyadi mensia ti menyana.

Bala pengajar nadai pejulok ati ti bukai, sigi deka meda bala anembiak iya menyana magang. Bulih pengidup ti lantang serta meruan. Pelaba aku, nadai kala bisi pengajar ngarap ka anembiak iya merinsa seranta, amat ke enda Grace, Cuthesss, enggau Dunstan? Amat bisi sekeda pengajar ti nyadi pengajar 'for the sake of earning cash', tang pelaba aku nadai mayuh la.

Baka diatu aku ngajar ba sekula semak endor aku diau, sekula tu sigi mayuh anembiak iya sigi datai ari bangsa kitai empu. Bala anak Iban meh nya. Andal meh ati deka ngemansang ka bangsa diri (naka ulih) awak ka ulih napat ka bangsa bukai. Aku diasuh ngajar bala anembiak aku jaku English. Jaku English tu sigi beguna amat diatu kelebih agi laban pelajar sains serta matematik diatu sigi ngena jaku English.. Enti enda nemu English, tentu tusah ka belajar utai bukai.

Ngajar meh tudah aku tu, ngarap ka ulih meri sukung ngemansang ka anak bangsa diri. Anembiak ke dalam kelas ti menyana sigi nyamai mimit ka diajar, semina meri 'guidance' aja. Tang aku tu deka bekenang ka bala anembiak aku ti dalam kelas ti 'ujung-ujung'... Kelas ti dikumbai nadai utai ditemu. Mayuh enda nemu macha BM, English jauh ke agi lah. Maya nadai pengajar, richah ragak baka ka begawai. Anembiak ti lelaki, segau-segau ngagai jamban. Nginsap meh, belaya meh, betundi enda badu-badu. Anembiak ke indu, ransing ati, tang ukai ransing ati ka belajar! Ransing ati deka nganta, bemake-up, begaya, serta udah nemu enchelak mata meda urang laki.Akai!!!

Maya aku ngajar, enggai mending, bejaku enggai badu-badu. Dirara tudah aku, aku tu dikumbai pengajar ti jai. mangah. Beri aku kerja kena nambah ka pengelandik, enda digaga badas. Pengajar jai, meri kerja kelalu mayuh. Akai deh, enti aku tu amat deka jai, nyamai aku enda iboh meri latihan serta bendar ngajar. Chincai aja ko urang. Enda iboh lengan tu asai ka patah nulis utai ba papan chelum. Enda iboh rekung tu pechah nebah 'speaker' kena ngajar... Tang aku enggai baka nya. Ngasai ka apai diri empu pengajar. Apai aku meh ti mayuh meri peransang ngagai aku.

"Sapa ka ngemansang ka bangsa nuan, enti ukai nuan? Bangsa bukai engka enggai bebendar nulong bangsa nuan." Nya meh pesan Apai aku ngagai aku. (Thanks Aba, you are a great teacher in my eyes)

Baka tadi, aku meri Oral Assessment sida anembiak. Ni ke enda nemu macha. Lain ditanya aku, lain disaut. Ambi ka chunto:

Tanya: How old are you?
Saut : Fine

Tanya: Where do you come from?
Saut : ...... (enda disaut)

Tanya: What is your hobby?
Saut : Pilot

Tusah enti ngenang pengawa anembiak baka tu. Pengajar sigi deka nulong sida nyadi pandai, tang utai tu mesti bepun ari anembiak nya empu. Ubah pikir serta runding sida tu. Apai indai mesti bisi meransang anak belajar. Pengelantang pengidup dudi ila sigi bepun ari utai ti dipelajar ka sida ba sekula. Baka ko Dunstan, tusah agi enti sida nyau ka nganti maya udah ba 'urban jungle' baru ka belajar pengidup. Bakani ka survive ila?

Kati ko runding kita?

CONTRACT

My contract is being extended until May 2006 as there's a teacher going for a 14-week course. Still be teaching English though.

Giving it a thought, teaching English to non-native speaker (or as a second or third language) IS VERY TOUGH! My students (most of them) could not be bothered whether they know English or not. Some refuse to try to improve themselves. It was pretty much frustrating to me since I REALLY want them to be better in English. But the mentality of 'anak rumah panjai enda iboh nemu jaku urang putih' still remains... 'to change a person's behaviour is possible, but to change one's thinking, mentality and values are so difficult that it is almost impossible' and I am fighting that battle now.

I've tried to highlight the importance of knowing English but they just shrugged it off... Am I fighting a losing battle? I know of countless teachers who've simply given up on that...Am I overly optimistic? Damn right, I am. I will try to make them improve their English even if they're fighting me with teeth and nails. I went to bed weary and tired (physically, emotionally, mentally) to the point of wanting to give it up, but thank to God almighty, when I woke up, my resolve is as strong as ever. And I am ready to continue the fight.

SMART ASS STUDENTS vs SMARTER ASS TEACHER

Teacher: I want you to write this essay and submit all FOUR parts.

Students [simultaneously]: Apu! Mayuh amat/ Banyak sangat/Too many, teacher!

Teacher: Last time, when I was in school, I have to submit SIX parts!

Students: Nya kelia Cikgu!/ Itu dulu. Sekarang lain...

Teacher: Okay. If you want to put it that way... Let's see. Last time a packet of nasi lemak used to cost 20 sen, now it costs 50... If last time I have to write FOUR parts, now you have to write TWELVE or FIFTEEN parts! Would you like that?

Students: ARGHHH!!!!!

Teacher: Value of money changes thru times. Assignments can too :)

Student: Sapa pandai-pandai tadi!! bla...bla... Kita ngenemu ka diri...

Students: [groan.mumble]

Teacher: :) [Mentally savouring her triumph yet again]

*A SIMPLE LIFE*

* No, not that show by u-know-which-hilton and that richie-girl*

Everyday when I am in the classes, when the students are busy doing their assignments, my eyes never fail to go to that house.

Staring.

Wondering.

Admiring.

That little wooden house. So plain looking yet it appeals to me more than a fully-furnished penthouse in the city. That ol' kampung-style house, with chickens wandering around and that paddy field... It looks so peaceful.

I wonder how would it feel to actually STAY there. Have a simple life. Away from this demanding, busy, dog-eat-dog-and-everything-else world. To wake to the sound of birds, rather than the off-key karaoke singing. To live life simply in the natural pace of the environment. Where we grow or rear our own food. Where nature and human merges to form ONE harmonious entity.

I wish.

But. I. Couldn't.

I will get bored. I hate wandering chickens *childhood trauma*. I won't slaughter-sembelih the chickens or ducks coz i'll get attached to them, so I can't cook them, so I'll starve. I hate gardening. I will go crazy with nothing to do.

Most of all, I can't live without the technology- the internet, the blogs, info at my fingertips.

Okay, I'll just be a weekend-kampung-i-love-peace-and-quiet-gal. Now, how do I get that weekend retreat place.

But I still won't keep chickens.

SATURDAY SAD NEWS

Was lazily entertaining myself by watching the morning 'toons on TV when my phone rang. It was cousin cum ex-classmate calling from Kuching.

Cousin: Where are you now?
Me : Home. What's up?
Cousin: SL (another former classmate cum neighbour) been trying to get you.
Me : Uh, why is that? I used the other line la
Cousin: She called me to inform that ShannDean passed away...
Me : WHAT?!!!! When? How?
Cousin: On the 2nd Day of CNY. Suicide.
Me : ...

I called SL to confirm the news. None of us (former classmates) was there to attend the funeral. None could believe the news either. ShannDean was laid to rest on the 4th Day of CNY. Each of us are going to contact the others to tell them this sad news. :-(
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ShannDean was one of the brightest minds in the class. He was the head prefect, soft-spoken and well-mannered, always ready to help others in need. Everyone thought that he would get far in life, to be somebody that will make al of us proud one day. None of us, could ever envisioned that all would end like this.

The brightest mind to be plagued by the illness of the mind and psyche...
Crippling the potential that all did plainly see...
But in the madness we still could sense...
That inside you there's still a soul that cares...
Don't be like me, you said to one...
Yet all too soon you left us without goodbye...
None was there to see you one last time...
Rest in peace and farewell dear ShannDean
In eternal peace in the Father's embrace...
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In remembrance of ShannDean, I dedicate the song 'Vincent' by Don Mclean...

Vincent

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

{Refrain}
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

{Refrain}
For they could not love you
But still, your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could've told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
For one as beautiful as you

Starry, Starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn, a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Please pray for his soul ...

KICHIK

Update: Kichik was diagnosed as having fever and given 2 injections as well as 4-days antibiotics course. He's healthier now and active again. :)


Introducing...
Name: Kichik
Breed: Siamese-Local
Weight: 4.5 kg
Gender: Male

Kichik was down with some kinda bug or what for the past few days. Was having diarrhoea and looking very lethargic (slept whole day on the stack of chairs in the kitchen so 'Comot" won't be able to disturb him). The whole family was so worried (Yes, he's even my Mom's darling. Yep, the same mom who always sent my cats flying from her room), so we are sending him to the vet in Sarikei today. Actually yesterday was planning to send him to the vets in Sibu but scared that he would not be able to withstand the long trip in Sibu so we didn't bring him along (he was better yesterday). Thankfully we didn't bring him as all the vet clinics were closed yesterday. Even though he was better already, we're sending him to the vet anyway today as a precaution and to maybe get him all checked up.

Get well soon Kichik!!!

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*sigh* I'm working again today... while other schools are still enjoying their week-long holidays.

MSJBOX / Dirty Lion

msjbox currently facing problem. Don't really know the details. Been ages since I chatted with Jun (sorry), so I don't know much. Just that what I read from Carneyz was that some lousy, useless bugger with nothing better to do wreak havoc to msjbox. Waaa... I know this project is Jun's baby and that he IS doing his best to make things back to normal again.

So for now, I'm temporarily using another shoutbox under the msjbox. Drop a line fellers!!!

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It's the third day of CNY. Total number of houses I visited = 2. Hahahaha.. Not really feeling up to visiting houses. The CNY atmosphere is WAAAAYYY different than when I was in Kapit. There, we used to went visiting for the three days of CNY. The atmosphere was very warm and joyous. Here, malas to go visiting. First of all, the chinese population here is not as friendly as those in Kapit. Most (NOT all) are very 'kiasu' and rather racist. Sorry to say, it was here when I heard the phrase 'lackia @ laking" --translated roughly as 'Iban Jai or nasty, dirty natives'. And some love to think that they are mightier than others.

(note: I'm not against them, anyway I'm 1/8 Chinese in my blood. I'm just against THAT mentality they have)

And what is CNY without the Lion Dance. The ones that I watched in Kapit was very nice. Of course it was not the same class as those you may watch in the 'lion dance' tournament but entertaining nonetheless. Here, oh boy... The first time I watched the ones here, it seems so wrong it should be blasphemous. The lion is SOOOOO very different than the ones in Kapit.
And it's so dirty and scraggly-looking that you'll feel so much sympathy that you'll want to shoot it to end its misery. The drumbeats are waaayyy out of tune (no practice I guess). Maybe these fellas are just after the angpow.

DUM DA DUM CHANG CHANG...

and it's over in 2 minutes flat.

Bleargh!!!

Behold the dirty lion!!!!

Close-up, this lion is very dirty-looking and the fur seems sticky with grime, sweat and whatnots :(


the dance was *yawn* boring and very much predictable

IRONY

It's been raining non-stop for the past few days (more like weeks)...

... but there is no water coming out of the tap!

~ I sooooooo want to hex whoever/whatever is causing this low supply. WOI!!! Turn up the supply la! and give ample warning that there will be shortage of water or bla bla bla la... Explain, explain, explain.

Ngirup, Palau, Mabuk, Belaya...

Nyau deka ga aku berunding lalu mantai ka penemu diri pengudah macha kenang Grace pasal pengawa ngirup-belaya tu. Runding pasal utai tu sigi udah suah didinga kitai dipejurai ka sebelah radio, randau, etc.

Ngirup tu siti cara kitai iban bebantai ka penyiru sereta gauk kitai ngagai kaban. Mantai ka pengaga ati kitai nerima temuai sereta kaban belayan. Tiap maya enti bisi pengerami, tuak enggau macam ai bisa ti bukai sigi suah dibantai nadai disekat nyadi ka tanda kitai tu enda lokek ko urang...

Tang uji kitai berati, enti nyau berekak, bepalu, bebunuh, ber-macam2 lah, ni penyiru tauka pemanah basa sereta intu kitai sekaban? nadai jaku nya.. enti pengerami tu nyau nyadi madang endur kitai bepun ka laya sereta penyarut enggau pangan diri, nyau nadai guna kitai rami. Enti pengaga ati nyau nyadi penusah ati enti bisi bala nyau lesi bebadi, bakani ko gaya deh?

Ko jaku, 'bepandam nyadi pisa, betundi nyadi laya' , enti mabuk anang ngira agi, ukai belaya aja, bebunuh pan bisi'.

Anang saru wai, nadai aku ngumbai ngirup nya JAI. Aku empu pun bisi meh ngirup tuak enggau ai bepupu kadang-kadang. Tang asal kitai ingat ka tatak tauka limit diri empu. Enti udah ngelu asai pala nya tanda udah umbas meh. Enti nemu diri jampat 'angat' maya udah ngelu, nyamai anang ngirup neh... Kitai mensia siko-siko sigi bisi 'tolerance' ti lain enti ngirup ai bisa. Iya ti tan ngirup tentu enda alah ditapat sida ti enda tan, enda pia?

Ke siti da ba runding aku, ba penemu maioh kitai Iban, urang ti kuat ngirup @ pengirup nya suah dipuji bagas tauka hebat. Apu! Makin tebiley makin dipuji... Enda kitai ngenang kelalu balat ngirup ai bisa tu tau pulai nyadi ka penyakit. Atau @ liver kitai mensia ti balat ngirup suah agi bepenyakit. Ni baka darah tinggi enggau penyakit bukai, sigi nganu kitai. Kasih deh tudah bini anak ditinggal ka kita midang enti kita enda berunding ka pengerai diri maya ngirup. Aku tu ukai bejaku puang, menyadi aku empu diatu 'terpaksa' ngetu ngirup... nama kebuah? kategal kala temutah ka darah. Nyau jai jaku aku nganu menyadi diri, ka enda kitai sinu ga ke iya. Betemu enggau Doktor, lalu diberi jaku tangkan : Enti ka gerai, BADU agi ngirup. Diatu ulih ga ngetu ngirup...

Bah, kati ka nganti nyau ka dibabut petara seput baru kitai bisi runding ka ngetu pia?

CULTURE/TRADITION

This is something that's been on my mind on-off since long time ago. Being part of the ethnic race that is IBAN, one cannot but face the culture/tradition that has been ingrained into every aspect of life. Miring, Gawai, and many other rituals that has been passed down from generations by our anscestors. Even the ritual of 'nganjong anak mandi' used to be one of the important milestones that marks a person's passage through life. From childhood to adulthood and to the day that person dies, these rituals and traditions shapes and marks each and every important part of life. One particularly good book to read is "The Iban Way of Life" by Benedict Sandin.

With the introduction of religion by the early days missionaries, some of the Ibans embraced Christianity. The concept of demi-Gods (Keling, etc)/Gods(Simpulang Gana, Singalang Burung) was in contrast with the message of Christianity (One God). Thus, the rituals was viewed as paganistic rituals and the practice was gradually discarded.

In the eagerness to leave the 'old practices' and to be modern, many of the traditions and culture was discarded in favour of the more modern way of life. Assimilation of culture with other culture is inevitable as we are living in a multi-racial environment.Which is why, it was unsurprising for me to see many of today's generation have no knowledge of the rich cultural heritage. When asked of the many types of Gawai, a lady only few years older than me, answered that there's Gawai Dayak and Gawai Antu (in fact there's also Gawai Kenyalang, Gawai Batu). Some children also didn't know the traditional games and rhymes. How sad...

For me, there is no harm in preserving our rich cultural heritage. My family celebrates Gawai Antu, not for the so-called 'paganistic' notions but as a sign of respect to our ancestors (in my understanding, Gawai Antu is to celebrate the FINAL separation of the dead from the living, as a mark of the end of grieving and of moving on). My point is, preserve the tradition and where it may clash with our beliefs, try to find the best way to handle the situation. For me, it is okay for having rituals and traditions for I want my children to know their heritage and to be proud that they are Iban.

Agi enseput, agi bepanggal ka adat sereta pengingat bansa diri.