The Alphabets in My Life: D

Am feeling tired actually. No, more like tired, drained and half broke. Hehehe. Am feeling sleepy also now, so if I start to crap get nonsensical, pardon me ya.

Trying to find words beginning with D that I can associate with my life. Hmmm... Where do I start?

Here goes,
D is for ...

Diva & Drama Queen. Because sometimes throwing tantrum is fun. Making a big fuss is enjoyable. Making others felt as worthless as the dirt underneath the carpet is ORGASMIC! Try it yourself. Nah, Just pulling your leg. Hehe..It's not the reason actually. I do get angry (temperamental) and usually it is because things are not done as well as I want it to be (I am a perfectionist, both a curse and a blessing). I am able to mask my emotions very well. People wouldn't know that actually I DO have problems because I can look as cheerful as the morning bird. Why should I let my troubles trouble me? Always look at the bright side of life. Damn, I should have been an actress or at least won something for this talent. Haha

Daughter. I am the second daughter in my family (technically I am the 3rd). I know mummies want their daughters to be girly and sweet but poor Mum, she got a tomboy instead. Perhaps it was due to me spending a lot of time with my brother, playing soldier and combat and catching small fish in the drain and-oh, keeping tadpoles as my pet, and the occasional playhouse. Hehehe. I could remember that once Mum dressed me in a frilly dress that she made herself, in less than half a day, I ripped the dress to pieces while tree climbing and playing with my friends. Oh, need I mention that my friends back then were all boys?

Teeny weeny kinda deaf. I have a bit hearing problems. Maybe it's the loud music. Maybe it was the meriam karbaid that my brothers blasted when I was a small kid. Anyway, my hearing is kinda selective. Sometimes it is sharp but sometimes it's a bit problematic. Heheh

Dracula and other vampire stories. Damn! I hate those stories, especially when my sis or grandma tell those stories before bedtime. Argh!!! Talk about wrong timing!. My over-active imagination would run wild after listening to 'true-stories' about these stuffs. *shivers*

Damn. One of the overused words in my vocabulary. It could mean I am amazed, awestruck, impressed, pissed off, angry, etc. I say it when I saw a nice car, I say it when an idiot driver is in front of me, I say it when I am at loss of anything to say. A very flexible multi-purpose words. Let's altogether say now, DAMN! Hehehe

Darf, Daniel, Dolly, Diana... Some of my friend's name. Doyee, I still remember you from our school days. Hehe

Umm... Think that's all I can think of for now.

What are the D's in yours?

Snapshots: Me

My new hairstyle?
Nice?
Hehehe...
Decided to cut my hair since I want low-maintenance hairstyle that can be styled in a jiffy, a good thing since being up in the wee hours in the morning and getting ready for work while being sleep deprived is not really a good idea.

If you like it, drop me a line.
If you don't, that's also fine with me. Hehehe

---------

Am so tired. Dad woke me up before 6 am since I need to accompany Mum in Sibu (translated : jadi driver) while Dad attends to some administration stuffs there. Then, off we go to the longhouse. Slept like a log (my flu is still lingering) before returning home. I am so tired since the coming week is going to be a long week (competitions and also replacement school day).
I need a rest. Now.

Snapshots: Sri Aman

<--- Amoi, Santeh & Icha

Just arrived from Sri Aman. Took turns driving with Dad. Wasn't really as tired as I expected, maybe it was due to the 'super-power' massage by my aunty Bibi from Saratok. My back is all black and blue. You'd think that I've been dragged, whacked and clubbed all at once. Although it seems very painful (which it is to a certain extent), I felt surprisingly better after the massage.
The 'ngetas ulit' was attended by family and close friends of the family. Fr. Paul conducted the ceremony which immediately after the 'ngetas ulit' we held the 'muai tebalu' ceremony. This marked the end of mourning for my late cousin's wife. It was touching to see her cry as the ceremony was held as she's still in grief but life must go on, especially for her children's sake. It was at this point that I thought about the two little girls and their soon to be born baby brother/sister.

Icha still needs to undergo corrective surgery for her medical condition although her growth is still very slow. But at least she's gaining weight 100grams at a time.
When someone asked her
"Where is your Daddy?"
she answered,
"Daddy is with Jesus."









Santeh (spitting image of my late cousin) is still a baby. Every morning she will ask for her father and she really missed her daddy's touch. She's an adorable baby and when she walks (more like waddles) she looks like a baby penguin. Cute baby penguin.











My eldest cousin Jeffry @ Wat. He is the eldest among us. He could not walk but he is the glue that held all of us cousins together. We like to tease him and he never gets angry at us.











2 teachers and a *err, helicopter pilot?* hehe
The three of us were born merely a few years apart. The two teachers were separated by mere months... Oh, and both teachers are English teachers. Hehe... The two guys are very single and available. Housetrained too. Wahahah
(They are so gonna kill me for this)

Farewell Dear Cousin

Leaving for Sri Aman tomorrow for the 'ngetas ulit' ceremony and 'ngambi tebalu'.
'Ngetas ulit' will be held on Saturday (23rd February 2008) at 7.00 am in their residence at Taman Azba, Sabu, Sri Aman. 'Ngambi tebalu' will be held immediately after the ceremony.

Creative 'Bug'

On medical leave today. My throat actually felt like being rubbed with sandpaper and my fever is acting up. Head feeling like wool now (worse than cotton-ish) and all my joints felt just as comfortable as lying on a bed of nails.

Ugh! I hate being down with fever because it stays for more than a week. I'll end up feeling sluggish.

Decided to do something rather than just lying down the whole day. Tried some photoshop brush effects that I downloaded from here. If only they had allowed me to use photoshop for my SPM, my Art teacher wouldn't scream that much at me. Heheh

The result? Look at these pictures.


created using the swirls and seeds brushes ------>










<----- created using the bamboo brushes


















In purple ------>









Let me know what you think, ya?

Flu-ish Blues

Feeling a bit under the weather. Damn, must be the flu bug that's been circulating in the staff room.
Drinking lots of H2O now. Dad told me to drink around 1 litre, I think I drank almost a big jug of water. My brain actually feel cotton-ish (as if made of wet cotton) and my nose *argh*, let's not go there.
Going to complete the exam paper that I am preparing for MUET and submit it to the coordinator for approval and endorsement by the head of language department. My form 5 papers are printed and I'm leaving task of stapling it to my slaves assistants (nieces and nephews). Hehe

My To-Do List:

1. Complete MUET exam paper
   
2. Form 5 exam paper
3. Go to Sri Aman for 'ngetas ulit'
   
4. Call the press for the event next week
5. Prepare the script for the 3-day events and the prize-giving ceremony
6. Assist in preparing the program book (not my task but I'd hate to see a half-assed done job)

Retiring to bed early tonight. Hopefully the bug will go away by tomorrow.

*sniff*

The Alphabets in My Life: C

C is ....

for Chris... my name. My parents gave me this name since I was born just after Christmas. Actually I was born earlier than schedule (8-month premature baby) and the fact that I survived remains a miracle. The umbilical cord was wound 5 times around my neck and my organs were still underdeveloped, the doctors were skeptical of my chances. But I showed them my survivor spirit and became who I am today (dah terlampau sehat kot?).

for crazy, the word some of my friends use to describe me. Hehe. Blame it on the umbilical cord la, my brain were oxygen-deprived kot. hehehe

for the grade that will sign my death warrant from my parents when I was in primary school.

for chomot. My Dad's cat.

for cousins. I have lots and lots of them. We are a noisy bunch when we meet up. I am closer with my paternal cousins rather than my maternal ones. Hmm...

for c****, another swear word that I used frequently while driving (at least when my parents/nephews/nieces are not around) when there are useless drivers hogging the road. Can't say use this swear word in front of my Mum. Nak kena cili mulut?

for caring, my nature. mother earth. protector of the universe. you name it.

for cooking, my favorite activity (other than blogging la). Surprising for some because they never expected me to know how to cook since I am the youngest. Hey, since both Mum and Dad were working, I had learn how to cook my own meals. My cooking idols? Jamie, Kylie and Nigella. While some say that my cooking skills are learned from my Mum, you guys are so wrong. I learned cooking on my own, through trial and error (I have lots of 'lab rats') until I got it right. Now, while my skills are still below chef's level, at least I am a decent cook who can serve delicious dishes. Hehe

for cuthess; blogger friend and real-life buddy.

for clumsiness and cincai-ness. My bad habits. I'd get bruises from bumping against things and I'd do 'cincai' work when I am not in the mood. My bad.

What about you? What are the Cs in your life?

My True Story: Chomot

On the inside looking out

Hi everyone. Let me introduce myself. My name is Chomot and I am the family pet of this blog owner. Since all of us (three of us actually; Kichik, Puccy and yours truly) are not allowed to venture outside the house, we amuse ourselves by looking outside. I wonder why my owners never let us go outside. Maybe it has something to do about the other cats before us being 'kidnapped' (cat-napped?). My owner always say that we are gorgeous cats, maybe that is why we live a pampered life inside. Hmm... I don't think there's anything fun outside anyway (although Kichik is obsessed with his ambition to go outside), since whenever my owner's brother came he looks all sweaty and he stinks, at least that's what my owner always complains about. I never want to get sweaty and stinky. Yuck!

My Crib

This is my favorite resting place, just outside my owner's room. This way I can easily be aware the moment she wakes up so that I can ask for my food. Sometimes the other two cats will get jealous of me and they will try to squeeze into my 'bed'. If it's Puccy, it's fine. We can even share the 'bed'.

Kichik: Uh-oh

It it is Kichik, I better get out of his way, he's bad news sometimes especially if he is hungry. When ever he's hungry, Puccy and I will hide under the sofa since he will never be able to get us there. Kichik, *snorts* what a very unsuitable name for such a big fat cute cat like him. Sometimes when Kichik tries to sleep in my 'bed', he'll end up falling basket and all. Sape suruh gemuk?
Hehehe
Speaking of Puccy and Kichik, here's a picture of them doing their routine.... being lazy cats that they are.
Sometimes the two of them will somehow gang up against me. Sometimes they ignore me or even chase me around. Why? I can't understand it. Maybe it's because they are both Siamese so they think they are waaay better than me (Kichik is my uncle too).
My owner always say that all of us are beautiful and special. She likes my jet black fur and the cute 'socks' on my feet. She could even imitate my voice. Oh, I adore my owner. She understands that I don't like cuddles but I know she'd love to cuddle me sometimes. That's why sometimes I ask for cuddles every now and then. I know she'd love it. I hate it but then, it's a small price to pay compared with how much she pampers us. I remembered how she slept with us in the living room when we were down with some bug and how she rushed us to the vet the very next morning.
So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my owners for pampering us and taking such good care of us.

Chomot the cutie *chewah*

I gotta go. Dinner's ready.

Love,
Chomot

Snapshots: Makan-makan Blogger 2

Went for Makan-makan Blogger 2 at Cuthess' place. It's her turn to be the hostess. Just as I was going crazy taking photos at my Sis' place I received an S.O.S. SMS from Cuthess.

Went to her place with some firewood and tried to get the fire started. Haha. I was never Scout material (almost hopeless when it comes to building a fire), so it was a game of trial and error.

After huffing and puffing and getting soot all over the place, managed to get the fire going. Wait till Mum hear about this. She'll be so surprised. Haha.

What's on the menu? BBQ wings. Yummy. Guess who's the 'tukang BBQ'? Heheh
Cuthess, Ms.J and Ms.L posing in the kitchen. (eksyen je tu) heheh










Before we 'belasah' the food.












"Oi! Enough la, I'm hungry now!"

















Thanks Cuthess for being such a good hostess... She was scrambling all over the place to get things ready and forbidding us from lifting a finger to clean up. Hehe
Had a fun time chatting with everyone. Ms. J and I know each other since we were small kids and she was the only one of the limited number of people who can call me by my other name. Heheh

Snapshots: Flora

Was feeling rather bored this afternoon, been raining non-stop since late morning. Then, a brief relief from the rain and decided that the light is just fine for a photo-op before going to Cuthess' place for some makan-makan.

Hmm... Borrowed Dad's digital camera and went crazy taking photos. My subject? Flowers from my Mum's garden and my Sis' flowers. Mum and Sis share the same hobby. They both like flowers and gardening. I am a Daddy's girl so I dig those things like cars or tech gadgets. My idea of a garden? Hassle free maintenance. Hehe

What do you think of these pictures?

The Alphabets in My Life: B

B is...

for birthdays, my favourite celebration. Who doesn't love birthdays?

for brothers, I have two of them. Very much older (big-sized too) and protective of me. Woe shall befall any idiotic guys who dared to 'kacau' their lil' sister. Hehe

for buddies, my indispensable friends who sticks by me through thick and thin.

for blogging, my hobby and passion. Something I stumbled upon almost four years ago and looking back, I can say that I have grown in my journey. From a high-tempered and violence-prone person to uhh, a less high-tempered me? kot?

for bookworm and books, 'cause I am a book addict. If I don't read anything in a day, I think I will go nuts. I read basically everything, even cereal boxes. Currently, reading Tun Dr. Mahathir's book - The Malay Dilemma (old book, yeah).

for boss, nickname given by my friends because, umm, because I am their boss?

for bossy, 'cause my sis always say that I have the need to be always in charge. In short, a control freak. I am the youngest but I am always someone in charge of making arrangements for any special occasion 'cause if things go wrong, Mum will go ballistic and I'll start my 'killing' spree. Just kidding.

for my favorite blanket made by my grandma. Out of her many grandchildren, she only made two, for me and my youngest cousin. The others, just makan hati la.

for balik kampung. Always a fun thing to do. To enjoy the oh-so-cool waters and just chill out 'kampung style'. There no place like the 'kampung'.

for black, one of the colours that I like. I used to paint my fingernails black and that was waaay before gothic is cool. Go figure!

for backstabbers, the sub-species of human beings that I simply hate.

for kasam b***, my favorite food. Cooked inside the bamboo....Mmmm... Yummylicious.

for bodo, the words I usually say when there are idiots driving around. These idiots are road hazards actually. They frustrate you, make you angry and they are reckless. Somehow they are yet to master the use of turnlights.

for beauty is only skin deep. It's who we are on the insides that matters. A heart of gold shines through the fragile outer layer. A beautiful heart makes a plain person, remarkable but an ugly heart will never make a person beautiful.

for bright, 'cause I hate dark places. Once a friend (Bro. David of SPC) forced me to go inside the Wind Cave, he had bruises on his arm because I grabbed his arms almost to breaking point. I feel suffocated in dark places.

What are the Bs in yours?

V-Day Wish

Myspace Comments
It's that season again. The season when the florists' and gift shop owners' smiles literally touch their ears. It's that time of the year when your field of vision will be invaded by flowers, flowers, teddy bears, flowers, candlelight dinners, and more flowers. It is the time when guys are EXPECTED to buy gifts and flowers to their spouses or partners, 'cause if you don't, YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT TROUBLE BUDDY!

Some would refer to this particular day as VD, or V-Day. Not surprisingly, I read somewhere that cases of STDs or VD usually peaks after the V-Day period. Hmmmnnn... So, couples out there (not that I am encouraging PMS - pre-marital sex, geddit?), please use protection. Protect your loved ones and most importantly, protect yourself.
~ This community service message is NOT by any means sponsored by any brand of protection. Hehe

Some chose to celebrate it with a romantic candlelight dinner, some just enjoy a quiet romantic time together, some say it with words, some say it with flowers, some say it with gifts. Whatever way it is said, it will touch the heart of those who receives it. Valentine's day isn't just for the lovers, it's for everyone that touches our life in various special ways.

Funny isn't it? That out of 365 days in a year (366 this year), we chose to designate a day to celebrate love. Only a day? So, the other days we're not to show our appreciation to those we love? Love is to be celebrated every day. Some people I know only have the guts to confess their feelings on this day, only to get their hopes dashed when it's a day too late for them *sigh*

Ada apa dengan Valentine's Day?

The Alphabets in My Life: A

Inspired by the Rookie's Encyclopedia of Me, I just want to share some things in my life that I associate with the letters of the alphabet. Let's start with A.
Hmm... What words can I associate with A in my life?

Here goes:
A is...
for Andria, my middle name, the name given to me during the sacrament of confirmation, as a sign of strengthening my life in faith. It means warrior.

for A ___, my Dad's name. And my brother's name. And my niece's name. And my nephew's name. Wow, a bunch of As in the family.

for the academic grades that I must get. My parents are almost perfectionist in this sense. Excellence is a must. Second best is unacceptable.

for active, the way of live that I want to live. To pursue life in such a way that I will never look back and say, I wished I had ____.

for academician, the line of profession I am currently in.

for aspirations, the things I want to achieve in my life. What I want to be and how I am to achieve it.

for achievements. What I had accomplished through the years. Being a survivor since the day I was born (even conceived), defying every odds and overcoming challenges and obstacles in life.

for aunty, because that is what I am. A proud aunt to 4 nephews and 9 nieces from age 4 to 21. Being their youngest aunt, I surely became the most hip and happening aunt who can chat about every topic under the Sun with them. Anime, cartoons, movies, the list simply goes on.

for accidental baby, because that is what I am. An unexpected addition to the family. Hehe

for asthmatic, because my asthma will flare up if I have a very bad case of flu.

for acne. Yeah, I do hate it and it is getting better now but don't you just hate those nasty zits popping up everywhere?

for book addict. I am simply addicted to reading.

So what about you? What are the A's in your life?

If

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Genesis

Do you know your origins? Your roots? Just as the root of a tree, our forefathers somehow became the foundation of our life and generations to come.

This is the branch (or root) of my family that I am not familiar with, from my maternal grandfather's side. My maternal grandfather, Anis@ Go Kong An (something like that. Not really sure of the spelling much less the Chinese character for his name), died before I was born. (My mum actually have a Chinese name but it was not used in any legal documents)

His father (my great grandpa) was Chinese while his mother (my great grandmother) was Melanau Rajang from Kampung Nangka. The girl standing next to my great grandmother was my grandfather's sister.

Why am I not familiar with this side of my family?
First of all, I didn't even know that I was of mixed 'grand'parentage until I was almost 12 years old.
Reasons:

1. It was never mentioned.
2. We never speak in any other languages at home other than Iban (Used to know a bit of Kayan and Kejaman though since our neighbour was Kejaman).
3. My grandfather embraced the Iban way of life wholeheartedly, settled down in the longhouse and never converse in Melanau to his children.
   
4. We never met any of my Melanau relatives , or if we did, they never mentioned it. (Chinese ones? I guess they were still somewhere in China, perhaps)
5. My grandfather died before I was born.
   

Hope to meet more and learn more about this 'root' of my family tree before it is lost. One of my Melanau relatives that I know was my late uncle Juin Ibis. My grandfather's relatives mostly resides around Kampung Nangka and Kampung Banyuk area in Sibu. My grandfather was closely related with Ali Putih (Don't ask me who he was, I have zero idea). So, if you somehow know people who are related to me (or at least with Juin Ibis) give me a buzz. I want to know more about this 'root'.

Blood, they say, is always thicker than water.

---------------------------------------

Food for thought:
Sometimes people will say that children or people with mixed parentage are a clever lot.
True?
Hmmm... I don't really think so.
My Mum's sister (already of mixed parentage) married a Chinese. So how did the son turn out to be?
An idiot and a jerk.
Another of my Mum's sister, married a Peranakan Chinese. How did the kids fare?
Not so much different than non-mixed parentage kids.

So, there might not be any concrete evidence to show that the saying is true. The environment is a greater influence on a person's intelligence (be it cognitive, social or emotional) rather that the genes.

It's a game of 'Nature vs Nurture'.

To Travel Without Moving An Inch

Reading has always been one of my passions in life. Among my earliest memories are of reading those old, old books about 'Old Man Tom', Chicken Little, etc with the small pictures accompanying it. My parents said that I began reading (unstoppable urge to read everything) ever since I learned my alphabets (nasty thing when I learned my alphabets- around 3 or 4 years old I guess. Dad was so garang and scary, but thanks to him for giving me an early start)

I read everything. Newspapers, magazines, books, novels, encyclopedias, dictionary, bible, catalogs, even cereal boxes and other packagings. I just can't resist the urge to read everything in sight. My parents used to nag me about reading while I am eating but I think after years and years of experiencing how futile it is to try and stop me, they simply let me be. Hehe...

I also read everywhere,or almost everywhere since I can't read in a moving vehicle. I'll get sick if I read while traveling in a car. Heck, I even read in the loo. Had a small basket where I put some books and hang it in the loo. Whenever I am doing 'business', I'll occupy myself with reading (multi-tasking?). My favorite place to read is still my room, snuggling under the blanket Grandma made for me...Mmmm. It is peaceful and comfortable, my sanctuary.

Even if the particular story is made into a movie, I still prefer to read it. Best example, 'Memoir of a Geisha'. Even when it was made into a major motion picture production, I still find the book far interesting. Yeah, sure it was great feasting our eyes on the beautiful and brilliant actresses but by reading the book, I can picture the story in my head. The story somehow became alive in my mind. I can almost feel and smell Gion of the story. I was totally immersed in a sensory exploration of the story. I can travel anywhere and everywhere the books brings me. I can travel without moving an inch.

Except when I want to get that milo ais lah.

Randomness

Watched this movie last night. Enjoyed the humor in the movie as well.

I liked the part where Takumi's Dad (played by Anthony Wong) showed Takumi (Jay Chou) how to use the new revamped AE86 and to really make use of the car's power. I wish my Dad would teach me that (instead, he complains that I drive too fast. Who? Me?). Watching them race down the hill with pinpoint corners, I could imagine the adrenaline rushing through their system. Not that I'd like to do that. The last time my cousin drove us to Genting, I swore never to ride in his car ever. He raced down Genting in 4th gear (and that was while my parents and grandma was with us). By the time we reached the foothill of Genting, I swore I could have went down on my knees and kiss the ground.

Watching that movie is a feast to my eyes. Especially this particular actor. Blessed with talents in music (Go and watch Secret. You'll experience the beautiful music this boy wonder makes using a piano. He is Mr Magic Fingers), acting (hmm... I must see more of his movies to make a better judgement), directing (directing his 1st movie at a relatively young age. Don't ever fool with him), singing (couldn't understand what he's singing but it's decent and sort of grows on me, somehow) and good looks (why else would those pre-pubescent teens worship the ground he walks upon?). Am expecting to see more from this multi-talented guy. His new movie is out. Hmm... If I can't watch it in the cinema (I don't know how movie cinema in Sibu is like), I'll just get the DVD. Hehe

Eh, tomorrow is the start of school again. Got my plans all prepped up. Early to bed to wake up at unGodly hours in the morning. I just realized that I am gaining weight and curves (at unwanted spots-lah!). Blame it on the home-cooked meals. Since I am planning to climb Mt. Kinabalu sometime within this year, I must get serious about my fitness level. Started my fitness regime so hopefully will be able to shake the excess weight off and get rid of the sluggish feelings. Extra weight makes me slow.
Like this:

Rest In Peace Jerry ak James Budang (29.05.1975 - 02.02.2008)

The phone ringing in the early hours in the morning always mean one thing. Something bad happens.
Was listless early Saturday morning. It's 4 a.m and I couldn't sleep so I went to the loo. Bumped into Mum and she grabbed my hand and said,

"Na, Tukul udah parai tadi pukul 2 lebih. Accident"

(Na, Tukul has passed away just now at 2 a.m. Accident)
I asked Mum to repeat. Once. Twice. Until somehow the information registered in my brain.
I went inside the loo. Locked myself in. Went into my room. Went outside. Went inside the loo again. Finally the dam broke. I wept.And wept. and wept. I was shaken to the core.

Then, realization dawned.

I have lost my cousin who's like
a brother to me.
I have lost someone who, in his life, never once raised his voice in anger towards any of his cousins.
He was just 32 years old.
My aunt and uncle has just lost another son.
My cousin-in-law has just lost her husband.
My 2 little nieces has just lost their father.
My yet unborn niece will never meet or know his/her wonderful father.

Went to Sri Aman after my aunties & uncles arrived from Kapit. My emotions were numb. Only when I reached their house and I saw him, then was I able to accept the fact that Ukul is really gone. All the family members wailed in grief.
The saddest thing was when his wife was unable to touch him as she is 5-months pregnant with their third child.
It was heartbreaking to watch and hear his 4 years old daughter, Icha, standing beside the coffin and saying
"Aba ku udah mati. Ia accident ngelantak kayu. Aku ka ngau Aba tapi Aba nggai mai aku."
(My Dad is dead. He died when he crashed into a tree. I had wanted to go with him but he didn't want me along)
It was equally hard to see little Santih walking to the coffin and saying "Aba. Sayang" asking her Dad for the kisses.

The fact that a lot of people came from different parts of the state bear witness of how wonderful he was towards others. He was kind and helpful. I went to the Catholic Cemetery for the burial. He was buried just two rows away from his younger brother, Jersy@Badul, who died in an accident in 1999. They were born less than a year apart. They died less than 10 years apart.

Tukul,
We love you.
We believe that somehow you are at peace and that you will always watch over Ika, Icha and Santih.
We will miss you. Every day. Every family gathering will never be the same without you.
Rest in peace with dear Jersy@Badul. You were inseparable in life and also in the afterlife.

Dear friends,
please say a prayer for my cousin and his family.