CONTRACT

My contract is being extended until May 2006 as there's a teacher going for a 14-week course. Still be teaching English though.

Giving it a thought, teaching English to non-native speaker (or as a second or third language) IS VERY TOUGH! My students (most of them) could not be bothered whether they know English or not. Some refuse to try to improve themselves. It was pretty much frustrating to me since I REALLY want them to be better in English. But the mentality of 'anak rumah panjai enda iboh nemu jaku urang putih' still remains... 'to change a person's behaviour is possible, but to change one's thinking, mentality and values are so difficult that it is almost impossible' and I am fighting that battle now.

I've tried to highlight the importance of knowing English but they just shrugged it off... Am I fighting a losing battle? I know of countless teachers who've simply given up on that...Am I overly optimistic? Damn right, I am. I will try to make them improve their English even if they're fighting me with teeth and nails. I went to bed weary and tired (physically, emotionally, mentally) to the point of wanting to give it up, but thank to God almighty, when I woke up, my resolve is as strong as ever. And I am ready to continue the fight.

SMART ASS STUDENTS vs SMARTER ASS TEACHER

Teacher: I want you to write this essay and submit all FOUR parts.

Students [simultaneously]: Apu! Mayuh amat/ Banyak sangat/Too many, teacher!

Teacher: Last time, when I was in school, I have to submit SIX parts!

Students: Nya kelia Cikgu!/ Itu dulu. Sekarang lain...

Teacher: Okay. If you want to put it that way... Let's see. Last time a packet of nasi lemak used to cost 20 sen, now it costs 50... If last time I have to write FOUR parts, now you have to write TWELVE or FIFTEEN parts! Would you like that?

Students: ARGHHH!!!!!

Teacher: Value of money changes thru times. Assignments can too :)

Student: Sapa pandai-pandai tadi!! bla...bla... Kita ngenemu ka diri...

Students: [groan.mumble]

Teacher: :) [Mentally savouring her triumph yet again]

*A SIMPLE LIFE*

* No, not that show by u-know-which-hilton and that richie-girl*

Everyday when I am in the classes, when the students are busy doing their assignments, my eyes never fail to go to that house.

Staring.

Wondering.

Admiring.

That little wooden house. So plain looking yet it appeals to me more than a fully-furnished penthouse in the city. That ol' kampung-style house, with chickens wandering around and that paddy field... It looks so peaceful.

I wonder how would it feel to actually STAY there. Have a simple life. Away from this demanding, busy, dog-eat-dog-and-everything-else world. To wake to the sound of birds, rather than the off-key karaoke singing. To live life simply in the natural pace of the environment. Where we grow or rear our own food. Where nature and human merges to form ONE harmonious entity.

I wish.

But. I. Couldn't.

I will get bored. I hate wandering chickens *childhood trauma*. I won't slaughter-sembelih the chickens or ducks coz i'll get attached to them, so I can't cook them, so I'll starve. I hate gardening. I will go crazy with nothing to do.

Most of all, I can't live without the technology- the internet, the blogs, info at my fingertips.

Okay, I'll just be a weekend-kampung-i-love-peace-and-quiet-gal. Now, how do I get that weekend retreat place.

But I still won't keep chickens.

SATURDAY SAD NEWS

Was lazily entertaining myself by watching the morning 'toons on TV when my phone rang. It was cousin cum ex-classmate calling from Kuching.

Cousin: Where are you now?
Me : Home. What's up?
Cousin: SL (another former classmate cum neighbour) been trying to get you.
Me : Uh, why is that? I used the other line la
Cousin: She called me to inform that ShannDean passed away...
Me : WHAT?!!!! When? How?
Cousin: On the 2nd Day of CNY. Suicide.
Me : ...

I called SL to confirm the news. None of us (former classmates) was there to attend the funeral. None could believe the news either. ShannDean was laid to rest on the 4th Day of CNY. Each of us are going to contact the others to tell them this sad news. :-(
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ShannDean was one of the brightest minds in the class. He was the head prefect, soft-spoken and well-mannered, always ready to help others in need. Everyone thought that he would get far in life, to be somebody that will make al of us proud one day. None of us, could ever envisioned that all would end like this.

The brightest mind to be plagued by the illness of the mind and psyche...
Crippling the potential that all did plainly see...
But in the madness we still could sense...
That inside you there's still a soul that cares...
Don't be like me, you said to one...
Yet all too soon you left us without goodbye...
None was there to see you one last time...
Rest in peace and farewell dear ShannDean
In eternal peace in the Father's embrace...
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In remembrance of ShannDean, I dedicate the song 'Vincent' by Don Mclean...

Vincent

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

{Refrain}
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

{Refrain}
For they could not love you
But still, your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could've told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
For one as beautiful as you

Starry, Starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn, a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Please pray for his soul ...

KICHIK

Update: Kichik was diagnosed as having fever and given 2 injections as well as 4-days antibiotics course. He's healthier now and active again. :)


Introducing...
Name: Kichik
Breed: Siamese-Local
Weight: 4.5 kg
Gender: Male

Kichik was down with some kinda bug or what for the past few days. Was having diarrhoea and looking very lethargic (slept whole day on the stack of chairs in the kitchen so 'Comot" won't be able to disturb him). The whole family was so worried (Yes, he's even my Mom's darling. Yep, the same mom who always sent my cats flying from her room), so we are sending him to the vet in Sarikei today. Actually yesterday was planning to send him to the vets in Sibu but scared that he would not be able to withstand the long trip in Sibu so we didn't bring him along (he was better yesterday). Thankfully we didn't bring him as all the vet clinics were closed yesterday. Even though he was better already, we're sending him to the vet anyway today as a precaution and to maybe get him all checked up.

Get well soon Kichik!!!

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*sigh* I'm working again today... while other schools are still enjoying their week-long holidays.