The Birth Story of Amanda Grace Winston (15.01.2012)

Actually my labor started weeks before her actual birth. It started with contractions (every 10 minutes) that becomes more intense, closer and then stall and fades away. This happened for I think 2 weeks prior to her actual birth. During this period of time, am so thankful for the support of my bestie, Dr Deburra P Ngadan and also the kind ladies of the Gentle Birthing Group Malaysia.

Before going into the details, let me share the preps that I did during my pregnancy. I read (oh boy, you should see the stacks of books and parenting mags that I read) and read some more. And then I was added to GBG by my friend Evelyne (I think I actively followed in my 3rd trimester kot... Busy with schoolwork before that so limited time spent online). And they introduced me to hypnobirthing and natural birth. Oh yeah, always wanted natural birth (actually assumed that ALL births will be natural. Apparently NOT). For you mama-to-be out there, I seriously recommend buying the hypnobirthing book and I really2 suggest you get 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth'... These 2 books are very good and Ina May's book is very2 inspiring and informative too. Ina May's book is filled with many positive natural birth stories. Get it. Seriously.

Ok, back to the birth business...

My EDD was 13/01/2012 and because I was diagnosed as both GDM & PIH (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) as well as having asthma (Full Package according to the nurses at the KKIA), I was not allowed to exceed my due date. My gynae in Kch would probably be too happy to induce me on THAT exact date but thankfully my gynae in Sibu (Dr Toh SG) still allows me to go post-date and only induce on 16/01/2012 if still not in labor. He also told me to go for 1-hour walk daily since week 38 and etc to naturally encourage labor to happen. He was actually pro-natural and not quite as eager to induce as my gynae in Kch...

So 13/01 comes and goes. Still no sign of any action. My Hubby jokes that baby doesn't want to come because it's Friday 13th... Duh! *slaps forehead*

14/01/2012 - By now I've already resigned myself to the fact that whenever baby wants to come, she will come (but still I kept telling her to please help mummy and come soon so we can avoid induction). That evening around 5pm, I went out with my Hubby to town. There were some contractions that were quite mild at first but I brushed it off as just another case of BH. Then I told my Hubby that I want to have McD's Prosperity Burger (alasan: after giving birth I will not be allowed to have it and prosperity burgers are seasonal..he he he). Enjoyed my meal as the contractions/surges becomes a bit more intense. Returned home and I rested on the bed while SMSing with my BFF, Grace. She asked me if I'm in labor yet and then she replied that my baby is stubborn when I told her not yet... Within seconds after her reply, suddenly I heard a loud SNAP sound (the sound when you stretch a rubber band taut and release it). I was puzzled by the sound and I thought it couldn't be my knees because my knees never made any sound like that for sure. So I stood up, and as I stood I felt fluid trickling down my legs. "Did I pee???" I tried walking and sure enough, more fluid trickling down my legs... Then it hits me, MY WATER JUST BROKE. So I calmly told my hubby that my water just broke and my FIL also heard and what happened next is right out of a cartoon movie. My FIL freaked out... My MIL freaked out (and the scene involves tudung periuk, kain sarung and selipar... Ha ha ha)... Only my Hubby & I were calm. We went to the Hospital and after being monitored by the nurses (EFM and CTG) and my Doc was notified that I was 2cm dilated. I was admitted to my room and the nurses told me that I could eat and drink :-)

So the surges came but not very intense, started and concentrated at the back mostly. My in-laws came and my parents, bro, sis and their spouses also came. Nasib baik private hospital, sukahati la nak bawak satu kampung masuk bilik... Kat Govt, siap la kena bambu ngan Misi2 ganas...

The nurses gave us privacy and only came every hour to monitor my BP and baby's heartbeat. I enjoyed my dinner and drank loads of Milo and ate raisins for energy. By 1 am, the midwife asked my permission to do another VE to check my progress and found out that I was still at 2cm dilation. Effacement showed progress though. She consulted my gynae and since my water broke at 7.10pm, it has been 6 hours without much progress. So he suggested augmentation/induce. I was sent to the Labor Room and my Doctor came and inserted the IV drip. I was then hooked on the CTG and EFM.

Induction is no fun. Seriously. For me it's hard because of the EFM and the CTG, my movement was restricted. The moment the induction starts to take effect, the contractions was for me, clockwork and relentless. I think I can tolerate the pain better if I lean to my left side but darn that CTG and EFM!!! By 2.30 am (I think) I was vomitting and Hubby was there by my side to hold the plastic bag... By 3 or 4 am my Hubby went back to the room (surprisingly I was glad he did because it would be hard for me and harder for him to sit there and watch me w/out knowing how to help me).

The pain continued but I kept telling myself and repeating the Birth Affirmations (well, the parts that I can remember).

I put all fear aside as I prepare for the birth of my baby.

I am relaxed and happy that my baby is finally coming to me.

My cervix opens and allows my baby to ease down.

I am calmly prepared to meet whatever turn my birthing may take.

My baby gently moves through the birth path in its journey.

Each surge of my body brings my baby closer to me.

My baby’s size is perfect for my body; we birth easily.

I repeated it over and over again in my mind (insert an Ow every now and then when the contraction is at its peak). By now I had no sense of time. I was groaning and vocalizing (if at Govt hospital sah-sah aku kena maki ngan Misi dan aku akan maki balik itu Misi) to my heart's content (Aku sakit, sukahati aku la). I think by 5.30 am I was having irrational thoughts. First I called my Hubby and told him I want pain relief (epidural). Thankfully my Hubby told me that I do not want that and it's probably not much longer anyway. (Thanks Hubby. Love you for being the sane voice in my temporary moment of insanity). By 6.30 am I was thinking that I want to BITE the midwife who was sitting next to me all these while (crazy thought??? Apparently I was in transition at this point).

I kept telling the midwife that I wanted to poop, she told me that it was the baby's head. I then commanded (requested is not strong enough to describe my tone) her to check my progress. She was surprised that I was already 8cm dilated. According to her, usually it takes longer than that for 1st time mothers. By 7am I was SO ready to push and true enough I was almost fully dilated. My Doctor came and a few pushes later, Amanda Grace was born at 7.30 am. The nurses at the Labor Room was going absolutely GaGa at the sight of her - very fair with a head full of hair. They asked me, "Your husband must be fair kan?" (isk... tau le my skin tak putih sgt... T.T). The moment they placed her on my chest, I fell in love with her (walaupun nampak samar2 as I was not wearing my glasses... Huhuhu)

Then the placenta was delivered, stitches were made and then I was wheeled back to my room.

Oh ya, actually they called my Hubby to come to the Labor Room for the birth but he was locked outside the Labor Room so he was not able to see the actual birth (agak-agak pengsan kot?) but he was ushered in (thanks to the janitor assistant) just after Amanda was born. He he...

My take on the whole birthing process: The rupture site of my membrane must be high up (high leak), hence the slow progress of labor. Induction is no fun but what's even more no fun is trying to lie down immobile while the contractions were coming like a runaway train on high speed (my tail bone was sore for days... Punggung tonggek, mana tak sakit kalau on my back for hours). Mental strength is important and place all trust in God Almighty. He knows what is best (Ye la, kata nak avoid induction on the 16th, turns out I need an induction also. What to say, God's plan).

p/s: I would like to thank Siaw Ying L & Angelina Ong for their help and support. Their birth stories are inspirational. Thanks to Siaw Ying L for lending me her hypnobirthing book and materials. :-) Many thanks too to all friends & family & the ladies of Gentle Birthing Group Malaysia who have supported us by their prayers, kind messages and thoughts during the whole labor process. Sincere appreciation to the kind attention and care of Dr Toh SG, midwives, nurses and staff of SSMC. God bless you all!

Amanda Grace - Day 9

5th Month

I am now well into my 2nd trimester... Very happy to report that I don't have my 'morning sickness' anymore but if I take any food that is 'blacklisted', guess what, I'll puke again...

Can already feel the baby moving (when lil' one is hungry, siap lah, kena wachaaa from inside... Sabar lah Nak oiiiiiii!). Hubby still can't feel the movement, maybe in the next few weeks he'll be able to. Next week will go for my check up at Dr. Wendy's clinic so hopefully will be able to see whether it's a boy or a girl... Not that I'm into the blue for boys/pink for girls stuff, I'm getting mostly neutral colours like green, yellow or beige-brown for baby. Boleh guna for the next ones, ye tak?

A few weeks ago also was diagnosed as having GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus). Now have to monitor my blood sugar level and control with diet for the time being. If still high, insulin jabs 3 times a day..Takkkk nakkkkkkk!!!! Nak cucuk telunjuk for the blood glucose test pun dah sekian, ni pulak nak injek2... Oh tidak! So I have to repeat the 7-point blood test every 2 weeks and see the doctor every 2 weeks as well. Haih, everything for you Lil' One... Mummy sanggup minum klorofil perisa rumput and such. Tak nak dengar cakap mak siap la kau Nak oi!

Even had to tone down my 'couching tiger hidden dragon' temper... Rimau bunting terpaksa jadi kucing manja. Why? Tak nak anak ku nanti jadi cengeng Kak oi! Tengik kata mak aku... So, sekarang ini meng'surround'kan diri dengan kegembiraan ala riang ria anak2 Ribena. Harap-harap lah nanti Lil' One akan jadi anak yg riang ria jugak...

Started to prepare a list of things to get for baby. Most of the clothes will be hand me downs from my brother (hand me back jugak la because most of it were given by me jugak dulu... Ha ha ha) since his youngest boy is turning 2 in a few months time. So far concentrating on the essentials first, sapa2 nak donate barang2 baby sangat2 lah dialu-alukan ye... :-)

Bah, have to go now. Someone's starting to practice karate kicks. Lapar kot...

Heartburn

I hate it.

:-(

like, seriously hate this burning feeling in my throat. They say it comes with the preggie package but why oh why I get this every single night. Kononnya take small meals will reduce this condition, takde pun...

*groan* bear with it je lah... What to do?

Newsflash! *Grin*Grin*

We are expecting!

Not exactly a surprise to many of you readers ( Still got readers meh?) since most of you are in my FB.

Lil' one will be due in January and so far I'm more than 3 months along.

The 'ugly' moments a.k.a Nausea and morning sickness (evening sickness in my case) is hopefully going away soon. Everyone told me that I should enjoy the experience. Enjoy? How could I enjoy the sensation of my stomach contents turning itself inside out every time I puke every single thing I've painfully and 'sengsara'ly chewed and swallowed just moments before? Now I understand why moms have the usual "Kau tidak tahu betapa sengsara mak mengandungkan kau dulu!!!" as leverage. You wait lil' one, mommy will have that line ready if you ever misbehave... Haha!

So far in the first few weeks I've lost almost 4kg... Mana tidak, I don't have much appetite plus all the vomiting. Only in these last couple of weeks I've sort of gained some appetite. Last weigh in since my first check up, I've gained 700 grammes (maybe I belum pooped yet). Oh ya, I could only take plain water. Any other drinks (flavored/coloured) will be rejected. Sigh. At least I can take air kelapa. Hehehe... Got funny story about air kelapa, tell you next time.

My tummy is starting to show, my hubby say because I memang boroi (cue: ambil parang kasi kerat-kerat dia!). So far hubby's been wonderful. He's the one doing the cooking since I couldn't stand the smell of cooking. Love you lots darling! No crazy-crazy craving 24-7, just occasionally I want to eat certain food which is easily available. Can't say the same for my craving of Nando's peri-peri chicken. Dah la no outlet in Sarawak, aiyoh, luckily a good friend was coming over for RWMF, managed to get him to tapau for me. Yippee! Food aversions? Say NO to curry, prawns and hot chilli (groan). Before this I couldn't live without chilli and curry every week... Kena dera betul.

Now that I'm in my second trimester, some of the kesengsaraan is showing signs of abating. Hopefully the pimples will be gone soon too :-) Can't wait to feel the baby move. The first time I saw the lil' one doing the wiggle-wiggle dance during ultrasound, it felt so surreal.

Gotta go now. Dinner soon. I'm eating for two (ceh, alasan... Bukan boleh makan banyak pun, confirm muntah). Bye for now!

A.M. Musings

Okay, I must confess this.

I miss my cat.

My cat misses me too.

Tomorrow I'll be on a 6-hour bus ride back home since I'm off for a 3-day course starting Monday (Kursus Induksi Kaedah Baru a.k.a 'Kursus Sik Cukup Duit' so it's much much shorter than the older version that takes 2 weeks previously). So far this holiday I've been travelling to and fro almost every week. Sigh... Tiring but what to do. Then after the course I'll be very busy with the preparation for the traditional reception and once that one is done, it's preparation for Christmas - baking cookies and probably helping out with the preparation for my niece's engagement.

Holiday?

What holiday?

Oh ya, I almost forgot that I have yet to complete my 'How to plan your wedding without strangling someone' post... Really need to finish it before I forget the details.

Haih, I'm not really making any sense here. I need sleep yet I'm not sleepy.

December Comes

December is here :-) and I love December the best second best (since October is my new fav month...LOL!).

Why?

December means Christmas is near! Yay!!! Family, Food, Pressies and most importantly we're celebrating Christ's birth...

Christmas means it's time again for Christmas shopping... Ngeeeeee...... Christmas deco... Hmmm..... *plan plan plan* In 2008 it was red-gold theme. Then in 2009, Red theme. This year? Maybe silver-blue, silver or blue... What do you think?

December means that it's MY birthday too! 29th December! Now don't say you don't know my birthday ya! LOL! Another year wiser, sassier and wittier. Don't ask me my age, I stopped counting my age after my 23rd birthday. Dunno why 23rd... So I'm 23rd forever...LOL!

This Christmas brings a new chapter also to my life. I will be celebrating with my hubby as husband & wife. Which means: I have to bake 2 sets of cookies - for my parents and also for the in-laws. My MIL dah terikat tgn ngan kaki sbg full-time nanny for my SIL, so confirm cannot do anything for Xmas...

Where? Dunno yet but since my eldest niece's engagement on that day, probably at my parents' place kot... Or spend the eve at my in-laws place maybe then after Christmas Mass go to my parents' place. Haih... Nasib baik only 45 mins drive between both places... Kalau jauh mati lah bercakaq laki bini...Huahuahua

This December also I'm hoping that my appeal for transfer will be approved. *fingers crossed* Getting sick of seeing some 'double-tray-faces' (Mmy RST, not u ah... You are my sunshine!) and sakit bijik mata tgk permainan politik busuk yg berlaku... Serious tak pro sungguh. Tak tau malu... Tikam sana tikam sini. Karma will burn your arses babeh(s)...Hahaha. When that happens, I'll be the one who hides all the fire extinguishers. Rasakan ko semua! *evil chuckle*

What about YOU? What's YOUR December plans?

23/10/2010 - New Chapter

Okay, I know I'd promised to continue the previous post but am still bogged with tons of stuff, so will continue that post some other time yea... *pinkie finger promise*

23rd October 2010, exactly 4 months after our ROM, we say our wedding vows in front of both GOD and MAN to love, honour and cherish each other in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.

Walking down the aisle with Dad

It was a beautiful day, the rain at dawn gives the air a cool, fresh feeling. It rained the day before so I was worried that it would rain on the big day itself. The gentle sun and soft breeze was truly a blessing.

With Rev. Fr. Vergeer moments after the Nuptial Mass

Thank you God for your blessing that we may be together despite the trials and tribulations we've been through. Thank you also for making our wedding be an instrument of healing wounds and mending rifts. Praise the Lord!

Thank you also to friends who've been supportive of us in words, deeds and prayers. May God bless you abundantly.

Thank you to our families for being there with us and helping us in every way. Bless your kind souls.

Mr & Mrs Winston

October Countdown

Wahlaueh??!! It's been 5 months since my last post! You peeps miss me? Yea right... Statement puji diri of the year sungguh! Life has been very hectic so far, and by life I mean work... Yes, WORK is LIFE for me (and my colleagues). Social life? What social life?

Haih, let's not dwell on that. It'll only depress and stress me more. Yes, it's so stressful that my period stopped for 6 months. SIX FREAKING MONTHS!!! and before that it stopped for almost 5 months... *sigh* So you can imagine just how miserably stressed us poor souls working here. Up to the point that I feel disgusted with the way things are...

I need to get away from here.

Think happy thoughts.... Think happy thoughts... (300x)

Actually in my absence from blogging, apart from being busy with work, I'm also occupied with one project... Hahaha...

Planning MY wedding.

So, in 7 days, yours truly will be saying her vows in front of GOD and MAN to be faithful and true to her LOVE.

:-)

p/s: will blog really soon about the wedding plans a.k.a 'How to Plan your Wedding without Strangling Someone"...LOL!

Mother's Day Treat

Was still recovering from my fever so can't get Mum her usual cake & flowers for Mother's Day. Decided to make this treat for her. It's simple but that's the least I can do to celebrate the day.

Happy Mother's Day Mak!

p/s: Has got to be the worst fever I've had this year. My temperature shot up to 38.4'C on Friday afternoon. Padan muka diri sendiri. Lagi gatal2 mo turun kerja biarpun rasa demam... But then kan, I don't want to be labelled as 'saja2' use the excuse of being sick because there are one or two who are doing it in my workplace. So, because of these few, others who are genuinely unwell don't feel right to get MC.

Update: May Week 1

Hi :-)

Just finished with the MUET Speaking sessions. Phewwww.... Luckily only 2 smelly groups out of 18. Not as bad as last year's since the exam is held in an air-conditioned room. Hehe...

Last Saturday went to Saratok to attend the Medical Nite. Debs invited me to come along together with her family (she's in HQ now. There goes my retreat haven...Huhu). So happy to meet her family again especially her Dad. Had very meaningful conversations with Uncle P. Love ya Uncle P!

Wore my cheongsam for the dinner since the theme is '1Malaysia'. Had our makeup done by Ann the makeup artist and I love her work. At first I was quite apprehensive since I wouldn't want to end up looking like a DQ, but I gotta say, she's real good. Am thinking about getting her to be my MUA next time. Loves!

Update: The event's KIV for the moment. Could be postponed, could be forwarded earlier. Something came up. Will keep ya posted.

Shine Baby Shine!

For those in the know, The Day will be near the end of this year. As usual, women being women lah kan, I have heaps, no, tonnes of things to take care of to prepare for the day. I know that the man should be involved in the preparation but since he's working away in Kch, I'm doing most of the planning and scouting on my own. Thankfully I have very supportive friends helping me (and keeping me sane in the midst of the insanity... haha)

#1 - Venue

So far I managed to get the quotations from the hotels and have narrowed the list down to two. Many thanks also to my FB friends especially STP for helping me. :-) So, that one's okay.
Preparing the guest list now and trying to get RSVP from those who will attend saves me from the headache of sending invites only to end up with half no-shows... Again, very thankful for the existence of FB :-)

#2 - Photos

Still surveying. Read some forum on the net (until my eyes almost 'juling') to get some information, so that helps I guess. Thanks to Mr.Google for this...Hahaha. Not sure yet whether to get it done in Sibu or Kch...
Decisions. Decisions.
On the day itself, might get my friend who's a freelance PG to take the photos. Need to compare the prices and view his portfolio. Hey, being friends doesn't mean I cikai2 trust berabis okey? I have trust issues. Deal with it... LOL!

#3 - The Dress

Bought one already (and i ♥ it!), but might still get (rent) another for the ceremony... Hehe

#4 - Make Up & Hair

Still pending... Anyone have any recommendations? I would love a natural and classy look. Don't want the grandkids to LOL at my do on the day when they flip through the ol' album yeah?

#5 - The Weight

To lose 10 kgs, that's what they say as my ideal weight anyway. Work life has made me gain weight :-( ... So need to start exercising and watching what I eat. Cut the carbs + fat + sugar.. I can do it! Yeah!!!! *Tolong motivate kan aku* Hehehe

#6 - Flawless Skin

Why tempek2 so much make up when the radiance should come from within? Therefore, I shall stick to my daily skincare routine and not menggatal2 change the products. C'mon Chris. Learn from your mistakes and never ever change your products. Hehehe

I also started this...To flush the toxins out (Read some reviews here and here). Also doing some detox regime :-) Hopefully will be able to reap the benefits and be the most beautiful lady of the day... Hehehe

p/s: If only Chegu Carol is near, I'd appoint her to be the planner... Hehe...Boleh kan chegu?

Spinning...

or the shroom effect??? Hahahaha...

That's just how my days feel like since January until now. Life's a blur of work, meetings, events and more work, that I seriously need some serious R&R...

Had a meeting this day and I was so pissed off during the meeting that I think I scared my colleagues. Sapa suruh meng'complicated'kan benda yang sepatutnya senang ja... Ko banyak masa ko buat sendiri la!!! Ingat aku free sangat?? Awal2 pagi aku dah kena supervise prefects, waktu kelas tak payah cakap, tiap-tiap hari memang 5-6 waktu mengajar. Mana kena deal ngan macam2 org lagi. Mana nak latih budak2 Projek Gemilang lagi... Ko ingat nak buat kerja tu main sumbat2 macam tu je???? Ngko senang la, ko bukan ajar subjek sama ngan aku pun... Tak payah prepare sgt pun ko boleh ilek2 masuk kelas... Bukan banyak duty sangat pun ko kat sekolah... Engko mana tau tahap mana aku sibuk. Kalau engkau keja sikit je macam aku (1/4 tahap sibuk aku) ko dah riuh satu kampung... Ayam bertelur pun boleh heran tengok ngko riuh macam tu...

*Tarik nafas dalam2*

That feels good!

Honestly hope that May will be a month where I can breathe....

Hope.

Wish.

Cross me finger aeh...

Hiatus

Work is hectic as usual, even more so with the Debate season which coincides with the Public Speaking season that coincides with 'Kawad Kaki Formasi' Competition which happens to be not so far from the MUET Mid Year Exams and of course, not forgetting the 'headhoncho's' visit to my school...

And that means even more things piled on my shoulder.

I seriously need more than 24 hours in a day.

Haih...

On another note, here's something that I posed to my students for them to ponder upon:

"Andai hari ini kau semai lalang;
Masakan nanti hasilnya padi?"

Cheerios... TTFN!

p/s: Marking students' papers should be labelled as 'hazardous to sanity'...LOL!

March: Mayhem? Mania? M...

It's March already? How time flies...
Changed my blog header today. Luckily I realized it. Otherwise, it'll be 'Frantic February' till half the year is gone. Hehehe
Decided to change my blog header every month to keep up with the theme of the month (the state of my sanity is more like it! LOL!)

Ta-dah

January Madness

January was a mad mad dash all the way. It's the busiest time in the school (ask any teacher and they'll agree... But then, it's always a busy time in my school. How leh?). There are the students' registration, new students, new responsibilities, new committees, new blah-blah-blah. I had meetings everyday, even up to three meetings back to back. Haih... Mana nak mengajar budak-budak yang language proficiency tahap tadika pun tak lepas. Essay? What essay? Essay yang membuatkan aku rasa nak korek bijik mata dan rendam-rendam dalan segelen Eye Mo. Mana lagi tulisan yang mampu mencabar kewibawaan seekor ayam kerana amat terlampau tahap penguasaan cakar ayam nya.

Tu lah... Gatal2 lagi nak jadi English teacher....Hahahaha

(Caution to All English Teacher wannabes: be prepared, both mentally and emotionally. Teaching English will increase the risk of losing your sanity by manifold. LOL!
My tips: Have a huge sense of humour and laugh. Be positive. If not, you'll surely end up crazy and deranged. ROTFL!)

I came back every single day feeling drained and tired despite the eternal optimist in me. Yet, the very next day, I'm as chirpy as a 'semalau' and raring to face a new day. Except for that time I fell sick with the dreaded C-bug. Ugh! Still aching here and there.

So yeah, January was a period of pure madness (and chaos). :-p

Frantic February

So after the madness that was January, February must've been a breeze right?

Wrong.

February was as frantic as ever with the looming deadlines for countless paperwork and stuffs. Which makes all of us very grateful for the one-week holiday for CNY. Never mind the fact that we had to come to school for replacement classes twice. It's all worth it. LOL!

Spent my the most part of my holiday in 'Farmville' (the real deal mind you, not the virtual one). It was a great place the relax and detox myself from ASTRO and the Internet. Hahaha, and I managed to get some work done. Hurrah!!!

Right after the holiday, it's the school's sports meet. Yes, the stay-under-the-sun-until-your-skin-shrivel-up-and-get-burned part of the school calendar. Hate it! (This is the part where the rest of this post 'disappears' after I hit the publish button... F*ck!!!)

Oh ya, dear ol' Hazel came by for a visit at the same time, so spent a night in Sibu with Hazel and Debs. Had a fantastic dinner and shopping of course. Hahaha... Drove back at 5.30-freaking-a.m... Hahaha... Crazy, i know. LOL!

Hmmmm... I wonder what March has up it's sleeves... Mayhem? Mania?
Bet you're just as eager to find out as I am, aren't you?:-)

I declare WAR!!!!

kill kill die die

LOL!

As in battling the bulge that is.

I guess I've been in denial long enough so lately I have no choice but to open my eyes reaaaal wide and realize that I've gained some weight. Some? (huh, in denial sunggoh!) Ya, roughly around 10 kg over the period of 10 years. In 2000 I was around 56 kg... Now? Tak payah cerita laaa....

I need to achieve that weight again!!! Nak balik ke zaman slimshady... Huwargh!!!

I'm not as active as I used to be.

Kalau dulu, naik tangga bertingkat2 tu kacang je... tapi sekarang aku alergik dengan kacang maka tak mampu nak naik tangga banyak sangat <-- alasan merapu

Kalau dulu aku mampu main badminton ntahberapa set, sekarang nak pegang racket badminton pun aku tak pass dah kot... <-- racket pun aku takde ar

Kalau dulu 4x100m tu acara feveret aku, sekarang kalau takde duit ribu2 utk bedah kepala lutut aku, don't even think about it...

Kalau dulu (lebih 10 years ago) aku mampu lari pusing track sampai 5 round dengan kelajuan bagai dikejar anjing meroyan, sekarang nak berlari2 anak satu round pun aku dah semput. Confirm perlu bantuan paramedik tau... Jantung rasa nak pecah (sudah semestinya), Paru2 rasa seolah2 dibakar macam sate yang sedap kat kampung Seberang... <-- tiba2 teringat sate Kg. Seberang tu... Godaan... Cobaan...

Tapi dulu zaman aku study lagi... Masa tu metabolisme masih up up and running... Sekarang metabolisme macam merangkak je... Zaman tu penat2 pun aku larat lagi nak pergi bergiat aktif untuk berjalan2 hiking/cycling? Oh, no problem sungguh...

Now? I'm working in one of the most stress-inducing profession. Masa kerja jadi 'corporate ikan bilis' dulu pun aku belum tentu sibuk sampai tahap ni tau? Working life makes me feel so drained that I just want to curl in bed at the end of the day. I'd get tired just thinking about exercise, what more to say of actually getting off my ass and exercise? (excuses, I know).
(*Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Just hate the pile of sh!t work that's loaded on my shoulders. Sapi Gomen? Oh, aku tidak sanggup!!!!*)

My wake up calls come from various sources... My photos (makin bulat ja muka), my clothes (makin ketat) and also my health. I seriously need to improve my stamina and fitness level.

My plan?
Both diet and exercise. Not dieting as in cutting meals but more of portion control and watching what I eat.

No milkshake/juice diet... Tekak saya sangat2 tidak boleh menerima benda2 seperti itu... Sorry Herbalife!

My BFF acts as my motivator and kick me ass when I slack off (He lost 23 kg tau! Thanks to celebrity fitness and also his personal trainer... But mainly, his discipline and dedication)

Got two friends joining me so I'll stay motivated. Drawing up the exercise plan and discuss with my friends. Once agreed, it's ON! Wish me luck!

10 kgs --- You're DEAD!!!

Entity in da house

... as in paranormal entity that is.

Reading chegu's post (here) makes me want to share this with all of you.

My family thinks that there's an entity in our house. Actually we've noticed it for quite some time but we didn't really give it much thought. It's not the nasty type ala 'exorcist', more like 'casper', if you get what I mean. Cheeky and mischievous. Let me share some happenings with you peeps:

Case 1 - The Scared Sh!tless Maid

We once had a maid, let's call her A. She was our first Indonesian maid and she started working with my family in 2003. When she first started, she woke up at 3 am so that she could get a head start in doing the housework before my Mum leaves for work. Lasted for a week (I guess), until she woke up one morning to see two 'lil kids' playing in one of the bedroom downstairs. That's the end of her 'waking up at 3am' stint. After that, she would only get up/out of her room after my Mum woke up at 5 am.
" Ampun Bu... Saya ngak mau keluar selagi Ibu ngak keluar dari bilik Ibu. Saya takut Bu..."
So, we left it at that.

My thought: Hmmmmm... Okay

Case 2 - The 'Chipsmore' Happenings

"Now you see it... Now you don't
And when you're frustrated enough,
Presto! Here it is"

We've always blamed the 'missing' things on the other family member's carelessness /'tangan gatal nak pindah2kan barang'. Or so we thought. Until a few events that made us think again.

My Mum was looking for her miniature Melanau hat.
Looked everywhere for it and just when she decided that it's gone, it's on the cabinet in the living room.
The catch: we searched the cabinet a few times before that.

My dad opened the gate and door one morning and put the keys at the usual spot, only to find the key 'gone'.
Interoggated everyone at home and turned the house upside down.
No key.
3 weeks later.
Woke up to see the key, again, at the usual spot.

The car & motorcycle registration card went missing.
Turned the house upside down inside out (again).
Nothing.
Lodged a police report.
It 'reappeared' on the computer table.
Just when my Dad wanted to print the documents we needed to get another copy from JPJ.

My thought: Hmmmmmm... OooKkkkaaaaayyyyy

**************

My sister and Mum experienced the 'pranks' before. My sister would never sleep alone, let alone stay alone here. She's amazed that I always stay alone in the house when ever my parents travel or go back to the long house. Hmmm... I don't know. Aku ni bebal sangat kot bab-bab ni.

Praise God, for He always keep me safe from any harm. I strongly believe that God protects me. As long as Casper plays nice, I'm cool with that. o,O

Huh?

eh, it's February already?

my my my... how time flies eh?

As I've written before this, I've been so busy with work. I think I'll have some space to breathe (minimal, but grateful nonetheless) once I settle most of the stuffs at work. There are still some stuffs pending but plan to settle it all before CNY holidays which is roughly 2 weeks away *gasp*

2 WEEKS?!

Haih...

Re-vamping the Prefects' Board - an ongoing process as there's just too bloody many things to set up. A wonder how some people could manage to go by without it. No proper documentation, lots of overlapping and grey areas. I'm trying to steer them towards more effective end efficient work process. It ain't easy (I've employed some of my tricks and threats) but at least I can see some progress now. Haih!

Supervising students' research project - a grope in the dark affair as we're still unclear on how to do it. I'm thankful for my experience in doing research and the fact that I was a research assistant before... Phew, at least I have some ideas to guide my students. Just a simple topic for them. At least they'll have a basic idea on how to write/conduct a research.

2 weeks till holiday, I can hardly wait!

On another note, I'm happy. There's a few things but one of it is that...

Mr.Laling is finally working in Kuching! ♥♥♥ Woots!!! This means we don't have to spend lots of $$$ on the airfare (Sorry Mr. Fernandes!)... Hehehe. Finally can save more $$$... :-)

Alltogether now, HOORAY!!!

LOL!

gtg now... work beckons :-p

12th Day of 2010

It's the 12th day of 2010 and I haven't written not even a single line, let alone a proper post?!

Is my blogging days over?!

...



...



...


Okay, stop clutching your chest/heart or pulling your hair while screaming your lungs out.

I'm not quitting.

It's just that school's back in business and this time of the year is the busiest period of the year ( I have meetings almost every day. Sometimes up to 3 meetings per day) o.O'

Also, the new year brings new (and more) responsibilities, so I have a lot of re-adjustments to do. Still getting the hang of it although I had to hit the ground running. It ain't easy, but I know I can do it! *Yeah, super optimistic me. Ask me again in a couple of months! LOL!*

What does the new year bring me? A lot of opportunities and challenges intertwined together. This year I'm appointed as 'Ketua Guru Lembaga Pengawas' (my friend said it should've been Lembaga Pengganas...LOL!), 'Ketua Pentaksir Sekolah ULBS SPM', Trainer for both Projek Gemilang (Parliamentary Debate & Public Speaking) as well as the English Editor (cum Photographer) for the School Magazine. Actually I was also appointed (again) to be in the Staff Committee and the AJK Perhimpunan but I had to decline the two appointments as I think I sure have too much things for my two not-so-scrawny hands. Plus, I think it's also wise to give others a chance to be in those two committees.

It was not an easy decision for me to make as well, because although I'm honored to be given such level of faith/trust, I don't think it's wise to have my abilities stretched thin. I rather go for quality rather than quantity. Most importantly, my clients' need. Yes, my students are my clients. They should come first.

Some of my colleagues told me that I should try to just bear it beacuse I'm yet to be confirmed (bila la aku nak pergi Induksi ini? Jgn la time exam dah dekat oi!), as doing so may 'affect' my confirmation process. Yes ladies and gentlemen, kuasa di tangan Boss! I can't help but beg to differ. I don't want to wake up dreading every minute of the day. Kerja cikgu sudah cukup hazardous to sanity tau?!

I consulted some of the senior teachers before making my decision. Thanks to Kak Ju, Mdm J and Mdm R(mummy!), I finally plucked enough courage to face off meet my Boss. Siap baca doa penyejuk hati, penenang jiwa sebelum masuk jumpa Boss. Hahaha...

Thankfully my Boss understands my situation. I listed all of my responsibilities as well as my teaching schedule (which is filled to the max okay!), and discussed why I need to decline some of the appointments. So, hip hip hoorey!!! Tabik spring Boss!!!!

So, that sums up some of the happenings so far.

Here's to a great year ahead! Cheers!

p/s: I know I should change the header since Christmas is over... but soooooo busy la :-(

Flashback 2009

2009 was a tumultuous year for me.

It started on a very bad note and every day was a personal hell of a struggle for me. At that time, it seemed like the dark days are going to remain forever.Only my closest friends knew the nitty-gritty details. These bunch of friends are privy to my most personal thoughts and feelings and they were my pillar of strength during those days. I am truly blessed to have them as my closest, bestest friends. Love you lots girls!

Life were truly hell during those days and yet at work I continued to be the same cheerful, upbeat person. Work was the only place I can escape the pain since being busy kept me from wallowing in misery. Everyone who knew me at work saw me joking and laughing as hard as ever but in reality, I was crying in my heart. I laughed because I believed that by laughing and joking, I could chase the blues away. I guess it worked as slowly but surely, I started to feel better albeit only at work.

The moment I reached home, the pain returns. The hurt of seeing objects that reminds me of the most painful, heartbreaking moment of my life. It hurt.

My room became my sanctuary. I kept to myself, keeping all communications at home to the absolute minimum. I was building my defences, anything to prevent from being hurt again. At times I wondered if things will ever get better at home...

And it did.

Slowly but things did change.

I know I changed. I became more assertive. I fought for what I believe in. Never been a stubborn one in the family and definitely not one to go against others, my change caught my family by surprise.

Promising signs are showing now, and I'm happy to see it.

I'm finally nearing the light at the end of the tunnel. It ain't over yet, but soon... soon, I will find my bliss.

To my dear readers,

Happy New Year 2010
May the coming year brings blessings, happiness, success, love and prosperity into our lives.
God bless!

xoxo
Chris AnakApai

Snapshots: Perfect

Aaaahhh... Look at the expression on that cat's face. Pure unadulterated satisfaction. The day is just perfect for a snooze or two, with the light breeze and the stillness broken only by the chattering of the birds.

That's the thing I love most about this place, it's very peaceful and serene. It's not like the place where I'm living with lots of people all cramped together into a housing area. Truth be told, I seldom get out of the house unless I am going somewhere else. To see me walking around in the housing area? Not very likely, almost impossible.

I hate the noise and the lack of privacy. I hate the makcik pengumpat groups who always mengumpat at the back alley behind my room. I hate the fact that I can hear my neighbours fart (and that they can probably hear mine. LOL!). I hate it.

If I have my way, I'd love to stay somewhere like here. Maybe it's because I grew up living in government quarters back in Kapit years ago. Maybe somehow, it got ingrained in me that THIS is the way to be. Someone once told me, rugi buat rumah sendiri. Nanti nak jual tak laku. But for me, once I have the house of my dreams, buat apa nak jual?

One day.

One day I'll stay in the house of my dreams.

In the meantime, whenever I feel the urge to getaway, I'll come here. :-)

p/s: Updated my photoblog