Namesake & Family

Short note:
Had the most expensive lunch yesterday. RM 45 for a plate of mixed rice. I paid using RM50 note and forgot that I used RM50 note to pay for my lunch and happily accepted RM5 balance (there were lots of customers and I was frantically fighting for a seat). Didn't realize that I was RM40 short, until I've reached home. D*mn!

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The Namesake

To console myself over my being RM40 poorer, I watched this movie directed by Mira Nair (of Monsoon Weddings fame). I've long wanted to watch this movie but just managed to find the VCD (couldn't afford the DVD now, could we?). This story is about discovering roots, establishing new roots and the journey of understanding ourselves, our culture and what we are deep inside. The movie shows how a ‘new’ culture could be formed by an emulsion of different cultures that surrounds us.

One scene that touches me was when Gogol (played by Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle), went to his father’s apartment after he identified his father’s body in the hospital morgue. He went into his father’s room, tried his father’s shoes, and lay on his father’s bed and cried. That was when he really felt the grief of losing his father who he often took for granted. How often do we show appreciation to those we love? (I know this sound like a cliché, but honestly, when was the last time we called up our dear ones and show how much we appreciate them?). Are we going to wait until it’s a second too late?

I used to have conflicts with my siblings and parents when I was in ‘the ugly stage’ *read: teenage years*, you know, the age when parents misunderstood us and our siblings irritate the hell out of us. I almost got into a fistfight with my 2^nd brother (he is a big as a bear, literally) and some scuffles with my sister. But as I grow older, and wiser, I realized that although I have ‘issues’ with them, I was and still am fiercely protective of them. Woe to those who dared to mess around with them. Now I have a good relationship with my sister and my brothers. They do piss me off sometimes, but it is easier for me to let go of the anger. (Anger management therapy works, I guess). I try to call my family as often as I can.

(Note to self: with brothers try to make the gestures more obvious. Subtle signs won’t work, they can’t read subtle signs. In fact, make sure it’s something I can use to twist their arms later, especially when it’s servicing car time. Oooppss, old habits die hard.heheh)

Another scene that attracts me is the scene between Ashok and Ashima (played by Irrfan Khan and Tabu respectively) when they walk in the park. Although they did not show their affection physically in public, it shows in their eyes how much love and affection they have for each other. It reminds me of my mum and dad and also of my grandma and my late grandpa. They don’t show their affections publicly but the small gestures speak louder. I remembered how Grandpa would check and repair Grandma’s ‘Pua’ weaving equipment and Grandma brewing tea for Grandpa and coffee for herself because she could not drink tea and when she did the heavier work in the farm since Grandpa could not do strenuous work after recovering from tuberculosis. Also, Dad starting to eat bitter gourd that Mum cooks (he hates it as much as I do) or accompanying Mum on her diet. Mum scheming planning and nagging us to plan Father’s day party for Dad.

Accepting the sometimes quirky or irritating habits of the ones they love. Like how Dad complains every time Mum went shopping for 2 items and ended up with two bagfuls of things. How Mum complains about Dad spending hours in the hardware sections in the supermarket. I realized my parents’ acceptance and trust of me when they accepted my decisions to quit engineering and take the course of my interest. It was hard for them to understand but they supported me nevertheless.

After watching the movie, I realized that wherever we may be, whatever culture we may be in, we can never deny the influence and importance of our family and the values that we learn in our family. Although we may deny it, one day we will gain enough wisdom to understand it.

Self talk: Am planning something now. It is still in planning stage and feasibility assessment. I am going to getting opinions from some.