Malu Nya!!!

Was walking to my first class of the day when I suddenly realised something was amiss.

*thinking* Nama gak tunjuk kaki kiba tuk ngepit, kaki kanan relax ja???
(Why is it my left toes feel different from my right???)

*looked down at feet*

*LOL'ed*

*blush*blush*

I was wearing different sandals. Luckily I haven't reached my class yet, baru jak in front main office... Mun sik, malu tahap Gaban aku tadik...

Random: Lawak Gurauan Senda

* Some jokes that a friend e-mailed to me.
Enjoy!

KEMALANGAN JALAN RAYA:

Pada suatu hari, ada sebuah kereta yang dipandu

terhuyung hayang melanggar tiang lampu dan terbalik.. Kesemua

penumpangnya yang terdiri dari seorang lelaki tua.. seorang wanita

tua.. dan dua orang anak kecil.. luka parah tak berdaya. Hanya seekor

monyet yang merupakan binatang peliharaan keluarga.. masih sihat tanpa

sedikit lukapun.

Pihak polis kebingungan

melihat kejadian itu… lalu dia memutuskan untuk menyoal saja pada si

monyet untuk memperoleh keterangan mengenai kejadian tersebut..

Polis : “Monyet.. apa yang terjadi sebenarnya?”

Si monyet kemudian merebahkan dirinya dalam keadaan terbalik beberapa kali.

Polis : “Oh…kereta terbalik beberapa kali… jadi apa yang dilakukan oleh lelaki tua itu?”

Si monyet menirukan gerakan mabuk sambil mengayakan minum arak..

Polis : “Oh…lelaki itu sedang mabuk masa memandu. Dan bagaimana pulak wanita tua itu? Anak-anak juga buat apa?”

Si monyet menirukan posisi orang tidur.. kemudian bergerak-gerak spt orang sedang bertengkar.

“Oh…okey.. saya dah faham.. wanita tua itu tidur dan anak2nya bertengkar dalam kereta.. dan kamu sendiri pula buat apa monyet?”

Dan… si monyet kemudian menirukan gaya memandu…

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Kisah 2 Hantu:

Tersebutlah kisah dua orang hantu. Diorang ni baru bejumpa lalu mereka pun berborakla untuk mengisi masa lapang kehidupan mereka sebagai hantu. Sepanjang perbualan mereka, Hantu B ni tak habis-habis menggigil. Lalu, Hantu A yang kehairanan ni pun bertanya,

"Apa pasal kau ni menggigil saja?"

"Oh..cara sia mati dulu teruk..mati dalam aisbok...sejuk!!" Jawab Hantu B sambil menggigil lagi.

"Ooo..kesian... dulu sia mati kena heart attack." Kata Hantu A ramah.

"Kau memang sakit jantung kronik? Knapa ko tida pigi buat operation? Hantu B tanya.

"Ada buat! Tapi panjang ba cerita..." jawab Hantu A sayu.

"Ceritala sikit..Sambil-sambil lepak nih.."

"MaCam ini.. sia syak isteri sia main kayu tiga. So this one day, sia ingat mau perangkap dia. Sia pura-pura pigi karja tapi actually sia park kreta sana simpang hujung ruma. Tida lama, masuk satu kreta. "

"So, ko dapatla tangkap diorang?" tanya Hantu B penuh minat.

"Tida. Sia jumpa bini sia dalam bilik. Yang sia heran, masa sia masuk ruma tu, sia nampak ada kasut laki2. Sia pun lari-lari sekeliling ruma aku cari tu jantan. Abis sumua bilik sia cari pun... Last-last, sebab sia penat sia trus jatuh pengsan sebab heart attack. Trus sia mati la.." kata Hantu A mengakhiri ceritanya dengan kesedihan.

Hantu B terdiam mendengarkan cerita Hantu A.

Selepas beberapa ketika, Hantu B geleng2 kepala slow2 baru dia cakap

"Kenapa kau tida check tu aisbok? Kalau kau check tu mungkin kita dua masih hidup lagi." si hantu B bilang dengan sedih...

Teacher Talk: Laugh Out Loud Wednesday

I think I've never laughed this hard since back-breaking July started. Students, you surely made me smile and tickled pink today. I'll remember this day for a long long time, hell, maybe I'll tell my anak cucu about it one day.

Today was something that seems like it came from 'a series of unfortunate events' but in my case it was more like 'a series of hilariously funny events' (at least it was for me).

Read on...

Part 1
~walking down the stairs to go to the loo, saw the makcik cleaner and makcik kantin talking animatedly to each other

Me: Hi... Apa hal ya buk? (Hi... What is it aunty?)

MC: Nembiak luka cikgu. Tetikam pisuk kali tadik... (A kid suffered a cut teacher. Maybe accidentally cut with a cutter)

Me: Menar kah? Oh... (Really? Oh...)

~ rushed into toilet. Got business can't wait ba. Came out and saw some female students standing outside the sick bay and some colleagues talking to them

Me: Nama hal nya cikgu V? (What is it Mdm V?)

Mdm V: Eh, nembiak begagai ngena cutter nyau tetucuk ka kaban... (Eh, students playing around with a paper cutter and now accidentally cut their friend).

Me: Pia... Balat? ( Is it? Serious?)

Mdm V: Pama ga peda aku... Bisi nya bejait legik. (Quite bad from what I see... It'll require stitches)

Me: Apu, bendar ndar nya. Kelas ni? Pom satu? (Apu, that's serious. Which class? Form 1?)

Mdm V: Pom satu apa! Tuk ah, sida ke gagut tu nya ah... Pom 6AA*! (What Form 1?! These ah, these (how to say gagut in English?) ... Form 6AA*!)

Me: Ah? Indu? (Ah? Girls?)

Mdm V: Ba ia... (that's why...)

Me: Pey... Nti tek lower form tadi baik gak gik... Tu nyau bala inik sema jaku agik ka begagai baka nya... (Pey... If it was lower form students it's not that bad... These are old enough to be grandmothers still play around like that...)

Mdm V: Nya meh... Aku nyau kesal ati meda darah tadik. ( That's why... I got scared looking at the blood)

Me (talking to the students): Balat gak kitak udah gagut baka tu agik begagai baka anak mit. Nya kumbai org tuai keranjur ka antu nama utai baka nya... Begagai bangat kelalu... Nya bisi ditat ke jait nya legi. Bikin malu kaum wanita ja... (You are old enough but still play like children. That's what the elderly refer to as 'keranjur ke antu'. you went too far... You'll have to bear the pain from the stitches later. A shame to women only)

*might not seem that funny but for me it was kind of funny since I was expecting some lower form boys but instead got the neneks Form 6. Muahahaha...

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Part 2

~on my way out from my MPV (vocational) class.

Me: Okay class, see you again tomorrow.

Students: Thank you teacher!

Me: HK, please help me to carry these dictionaries.

HK: So heavy teacher... bla..dont know where to hantar... bla...

Me: (evil stare)

HK: okay..okay...

~ reached Staff Development Room. The door was closed.

HK: Teacher, can open the window?

Me: There's a big door there and you want to enter through the window? Bukan main besar lagi pintu itu kamu nak masuk guna tingkap?

HK: Heheh...

* Students from this class fall under the low proficiency category. Last year they could hardly string a sentence in English. Now, at least they're able to string a sentence (even if it's not 100% correct). Without fail, these boys made me smile and laugh (inside) although they do make my blood boil every now and then. Haha...

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Part 3

~ On my way to my car. Bumped into Pooh who's also going back.

Me: Pulai dik Nie? (Going back?)

Pooh: Auk, pulai meh. Aie, nama pintu nya geguyat? (walks to the Sick Bay door. We parked right in front of it).. Eh, tunggu cikgu ambil kunci. (Yes, I am. Aie, why is the door shaking? Eh, let me get the keys)

Me:???

Pooh: Bisi nembiak tekunci ba dalam. Apu, ka ngiga matron ku ngambi kunci. (There's a student locked inside. Apu, need to find matron to get the keys)

Me: Ba ofis bisi kunci spare pelaba ku. (I think there are spare keys in the office)

~ Pooh quickly went to the office to get the spare keys.

Me: Tunggu sekejap, nanti cikgu bukakan pintu. Macam mana la kamu boleh terkunci ni? (Wait for a while, we will unlock the door for you. How on earth did you get locked inside?)

~ Waited for Pooh to come with keys. Turned the ignition on. Started to smile sheepishly..

Me: Kenapalah kamu tak minta tolong? Senyap-senyap saja. Kalau cikgu 'Pooh' tak perasan tadi, bermalam la kamu kat sana. (Why didn't you cry for help... So quiet. If cikgu 'Pooh' didn't realize, you'll be spending the night there).

~ Sat inside the car. Started to giggle la pulak. When Pooh opened the door, I saw the kid's face. That's it, I roared with laughter. I know I'm supposed to pity the kid but I couldn't help it. It was so damn funny okay. Pooh was laughing as well. I laughed the whole drive home. Serius lawak case la.

* The poor kid was resting or sleeping in the sick bay. Apparently the Ketua Warden (KW) or Ketua Guru Disiplin (KGD) didn't realize that someone was still in the sick bay so they locked the door after school session ended. What made it seeem so funny to me was the kid's action. She didn't cry out for help, just shook the door. Didn't even knock to get attention. Mau aku tak gelak? So many teachers and students passed by and no one even realized that someone's locked inside because no one heard her.

Video: Bedak Divisen & Siapa Bilan Bini sia tidak lawa?!

Rajnikanth movie with Sabahan Malay subtitle.
Gerenti mau pecah perut.
LOL!


"Sapa bilang bini sia tidak lawa?!"

Prayer: School Reopening

Dear God,

I pray that as the new semester begins, let me be energized and inspired to give my very best to teach and guide the students. Grant me the patience (lots of it) to deal with everything and everyone as well as the extras that I know will be given to me. Continue to bless me with the crazy sense of humour that You've given me as it keeps me sane all this while.

I pray for my students to want to be in school and learn and God, please grant them the wisdom of never to mess around in my class especially when it's PMS-time. Grant them the will to complete their homework before I have to make them eat it or other unimaginable horrors that I would really love to inflict on them. Grant them the faith and hope that they can make a difference in their lives and that I can be an instrument to help them make a change.

and most of all dear God,

Please make the weather cool and the heatwave disappear. You know of the 'skunks' that's been making the staff room a horrid place to be. The hot weather will make their stench even more lethal and hazardous to our sanity. We've been so miserable enough when the weather was normal and now with this heatwave? Are You kidding me? Sitting near those two skunks would be experiencing purgatory on earth.

So please God, for my sake and the students' sake, let there be rain tomorrow or even better, make the skunks odor-less.

Amen.

Snapshots: Fill in Dialogue

Hey, I'm so bored so let's do something interesting or fun alright? I took some pics using the (lousy) webcam so all you need to do is to fill in the dialogue. Have fun!

Pic # 1

Pic #2

Pic #3

p/s: This is what will happen to a teacher after 2 weeks away from work. Bored to death...LOL! Been to the hairstylist 4 times in one week!
Oh ya, want you to see this...
nice?

and

I want this shiznit! You put all these in front of me (grilled, fried and whatnot) and it'll be gone before you can finish your sentence. One bite and it'll fell as if I'm in heaven I tell you!

Photo credits to AmbaiKumang

Peribahasa Hidup: Antara Lembu dan Sapi

Image taken from here

Ada peribahasa yang berbunyi

"Sapi punya susu, lembu dapat nama"

Maksud peribahasa tersebut adalah orang lain yang bekerja keras tetapi orang lain pula yang mendapat sanjungan.

Dalam erti kata yang lain, kerja nak mampus sorang-sorang tapi yang dapat nama orang-orang tu jugak... Oh tidak! Aku tidak mahu menjadi sapi walaupun orang-orang itu semuanya lembu!

Ahaks...
Sekianlah kamus peribahasa kita untuk hari ini.