Ceritera Sang Homo Beruksial

Disclaimer: This post is may or may not be based on real people or real life events. In case there's similarities to anyone still living, breathing and smelling smelly kentut, or gone kaput, it is highly regretted. not... Hahaha

The Evolution of Man, they say.

I discovered something today.

Something big.

I discovered that there are certain people left behind in the evolution of mankind.

I believe that this particular specimen is stuck somewhere between homo habilis and homo erectus. Let's call this specimen homo beruksial.

Characteristics of a homo beruksial is as follows:
#1.
Incompetent ignoramus nincompoop but likes to display so-called super-competence. It likes to view itself as an indispensable part of the organization machinery, when in fact, even toilet papers are more useful.

#2
Suffers from delusions that it is better than everyone else (not human so cannot refer using he/she la). Thus, it frequently attempts to exert its so called influence or superiority over others. This is when it becomes amusing to watch its antics. It expects a response from others, especially anger so it can do #7. However, the best way to super peeve it is by giving no response at all. Biar nya jak bodo kedirik mpun. Sak tekanan darah nya nait, lekak ya nya mati. Aman dunia.

#3
If it meets a human being that is better than it, then, it will either try to imitate (will sure fail miserably here, beruk la kata kan) or try to harm the human. Ever heard of the saying 'bagai beruk mendapat bunga?'

#4
Since it haven't fully mastered the human language, it is very prone to spinning false tales and stories. Beruk mana reti bahasa manusia?

#5
It particularly enjoys watching others claw each other's eyes out due to #4. Tengok je la beruk kat hutan, tau-tau je la perangai macam mana.

#6
Just as HIV originated from apes, this specimen also carries lethal infectious viruses. Virus kepapasan and Virus keseredahan. Highly contagious so do keep away. At all times.

#7
Just as its not so distant cousin, beruk sarkas, this specimen is also entertaining to observe. It likes to act as the martyr, especially in front of more superior beings. It likes to play the part of the victim when it's actually the villain. Baling batu lepas tu pura-pura terkena batu.

The particular specimen that I discovered was particularly interesting. Disguising as an intellectual and religious person, it actually posses such lethal venomous intent at others. For instance, let's study this scenario:

The day before:
BS (Beruksial or bullshit) complained to PT (a homo sapiens) that it was being bullied into doing the humans' work. It complained that it was burdened by doing all the work and that the humans are a bossy lot.
(note: BS agreed to do the work in the first place and the humans are just following the instructions. Wait, beruk mana reti ikut arahan? Duh!)

Today:
BS told another human that yesterday it was scolded by PT for doing all the work alone.
(Like, huh?)

Ai, kesian la kau beruk. Cuma ada ingatan jangka pendek je. Patut pun ko bodoh macam sial.