JANGAN-JANGAN MENANGIS

Pernah kah kau dikecewakan
Pernahkah hati mu terluka
Oleh temanmu yang pernah bersamamu
Maafkanlah dia jangan benci

Aku juga pernah mengalami
Seperti yang pernah kau rasa kan
Namun ku tetap memandang pada Yesus
Sendirian namun tak kesepian

Jangan-jangan kau menangis
Jangan-jangan kau bersedih hadapilah dengan senyum
Pada mu ada kasih
Jangan-jangan kau kecewa
Jangan-jangan putus asa
Yesus masih menunggu mu
Ingin membalut luka di hatimu o……..o
Ingin membalut luka di hatimu

p/s: Singing this song to heal the pain I'm experiencing right now, especially when I'm hurting. Laughing on the outside but no one knows what's in my heart. None except my Lord, my refuge, my sanctuary...

PAINFUL FRIENDS

Damn...

I am so frustrated with juvenile, childish people. Those who'd known me for years know very well that I am so intolerant of people who behaved childishly with me. Konon2nya adults. Much older than me but acted so juvenile. Macam mana nak survive dan menjadi guru yang baik???

Go and play with small kids will ya? I don't have time for the stupid manipulative games that you want to play...Shooo...shooo... pi jauh2...

To be nice all the time to these childish people is so taxing on my energy... Some more I'm having my lower back pain again (James, help!), my assignments and projects, I really don't have the patience to deal with this. Felt like bashing them up but then, that wouldn't look nice on my resume ya. Don't worry-lah, hope it won't go to that extent. Otherwise, all those anger management things will just go to waste.

Now, how must I deal with this. I can either:

1. Keep quiet and hope things will get better (miracle now please)
   
2. Deal with it. Tell them and just get it over with (easier said than done)
3. Be a grand diva and throw a tantrum of great magnitude (dramatic, enjoyable, but irrepairable damage)
4. Bash them up (good prospect but bad for my record la)
5. Get a new set of friends (I will be labeled as buang kawan senegeri)

*sigh* being friends with certain species of girls has always been a pain in the a$$ for me. Why can't they just chill and not be so juvenile-ish about things?

EDIT: Am getting cool now and I've edited some real nasty things from this post. That was kinda cheap shot at those who hurt me.
As the Lord said to answer the question "How many times must I forgive my brother? Seven times?". The Lord saith " No, seventy times seven".

Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me (deliberately or otherwise) and forgive them, for they know not what they do. Amen.

Almost a month in UM

Been here almost a month and already met wonderful people and some f**ked up ones as well.

The course is 12-weeks continuous classes, 1 week exam, 1 week break and back to classes again. But I bet we're still relaxed compared to those in the Institut Perguruan. The have the whole she-bang to live with.

My classes are ok, some lecturer are waaaaay cool. I especially liked my grammar & phonetics lecturer, Dr. G... 4 hours straight in her class and the time just flies by. Best...

My kolej kediaman is situated on top of the hill in UM. The water supply sucks, my room is dark (I hate dark rooms), I have a freaky-rajin roommate (seriously rajin study ni) and almost invisible roomate (unless she bawak her stupid bird-shrill loud mouth friend who just never shut up even tho' I am clearly sleeping. BodoBit*h!), the kolej is far from my fac, the bus service is frustrating. Which makes me wonder, my hostel in uni is usually
a) far
b) sucks
c) on a hill
d) any combination of the above
now it's e) all of the above. (Yech!)

And the allowance & agreement still not in sight... This programme is actually another 'ad-hoc-racy' (read: almost last minute thingy la), which almost explains why things are so not in order.

I missed all the yummy foods back home. I want to eat pansuh, kasam, etc... Huhu, anyone wanna kirim me those glorious foods???

GUESS WHAT! (u never expect it)

1. I'm in KL now. Specifically in UM... Yup, I got offer for DPLI (Diploma Pendidikan Lepasan Ijazah) at the last minit. So sapa2 mok carik aku, cari lah di UM...

2. Remember my post about my handphone being stolen? Yes, It's stolen (again!) while I was shopping at IKEA. Cilaka bloody a$$hole curik hp aku. Lesson learnt, here cannot simply be that trusting.... argh!! lost my contact numbers again!!! Thankfully my best buddy since my undergrad days are kind enough to lend me his hp... Thanks Zab!! (I'm using my old number for those who knows my old number la)

Now I want to go back to my hostel room and have a good cry :~(

Some a$$hole stole my hp!!!

This is a rant. A vent to release some anger...

Last wednesday some a$$hole stole my handphone from right under my nose (literally)... I was handing out payments to the part-timers (they will come work during functions and paid hourly)... I was busy and in between answering and making calls when in the middle of things, I put my handphone down next to my arm on the desk (careless of me, i know. Ain't hindsight always have to be so bloody 20/20), thinking that it will be okay.

Wrong.

Just when I almost finished paying the last few part-timers, I noticed, eh, mana handphone aku ni??? I borrowed a part-timers phone to call my number just in case my phone fell somewhere, I got into voicemail....and I got that nasty feeling in my gut and the reality hits me! some a$$hole actually had the nerve to curik my handphone terang2an... If only I dapat budak pencurik tu, aku hantar pi budak2 staff aku biar dia kena tibai, and then kerat hujung jari dia, biar semua org tau dia tu pencurik. Kejam??? Oh no, that is still not kejam by my standard. That's proper retribution. I know about the forgive and forget stuffs, but face it, in that handphone (biar tak lawa, tak canggih, tak mahal...) There are lots of memories there. The pics, the SMSes, and importantly contact numbers of all my friends and families. How the hella are they gonna contact me???

Contacted Dad. Dad being my hero, came to the rescue. One hour later, I got a new handphone courtesy of Dad. Thanks, aba... U're my hero

So friends, please email me and give me your contact number. If u're on friendster, my hp number is announced in the bulletin...

*****************

I am supposed to be on leave tommorrow but have a meeting to attend. 2-days meeting 9am-6pm. Sengal la otak aku meeting ni. Dah la almost 2 minggu kerja non-stop (tell u about that later..)

Bos org putih pun nak datang. aiseh. lagi sengal.

I'M BACK... SOMEWHAT...

Pheww... It's almost two months since I started working and life is SO HECTIC... Sampai2 jak rumah, mandi then the thing that I wanted to do most is zzZZZzzzzZZZZzzZZZ... Since there's no internet connection at my place in Sibu, the only time I got to surF is when I balik Bintangor (tu pun kalau balik). work is busy (very) but it's a situation that I get to like. Every day there's more things to stimulate/challenge me. Granted, there are times when I felt like wanting to snap ppl's head off but only in my imaginations la (a la Scrubs). So far only managed to make one girl cry la when I tegur her (that is not even using my super toxic acidic strength-level of a good earbending)... Am I losing my 'garang'ness? Heheh... no lah. But the kids sure know never to mess around when it's working time..muahahahHAHAHAHAhaha *evil laugh* Ello, jgn buat bende bodo la kalo nak selamat.Karang ada bende tak betul, aku jugak le jenuh nak membetulnya! Lepas tu, siap le sesekor aku 'tiau' bagus2...

Hari Raya? Sebijik rumah pun tak pergi. Sorry sesangat le ye. Sepupu aku sendiri pun aku tak pi rumah... Tak cuti laaaa...Back from work, macam biasa... Malas nak keluar lagi...

Driving in Sibu??? Hohoho... beware of a deranged female driver in Sibu...muahahahHAAHAHa *evil laugh again* siap la kalo bawa keta/moto/basikal/jalan kaki ala bodo-bodo time aku drive. Apa lagi aku sekarang bawak keta manual..siap le kena sumpah seranah/caci/ maki aku kalo menyusahkan hidup aku driving kat Sibu... (selamba badak biru je aku bawak keta time lesen 'mati'. Tak sedar lesen mati tapi baru je 2 hari. Abg2 dan kakak2 JPJ, saya dah renew pun lesen saya sekarang...:) )

Lepas ni ada function besar2an la pulak. Semua nak buat function kat tempat aku tu. 900 pax utk satu function, belum tambah yg lain lagi same day. Gerenti tak leh balik Bintangor nih...

Jumpa member lama lagi time sekolah dulu2. Budak ni dulu ada juga terlibat membuli aku (time tu aku kecik je/ulat buku (spesies yg mmg jadik target)/ anti keganasan, so senang le dibuli). Cuba kalo sekarang, mauk nye aku jadi pembuli besar... Tapi tu cerita dulu2, budak tu pun minta maaf kat aku... Well, takde cerita2 macam tu, takde pula memori berkekalan... Anyway, they made me stronger also (sebab my bro taught me to box and self-defence, so jadik la aku yg ganas skrg ni)..hehehe

** Actually cerita2 kat atas ni very unorganized. I am sleepy, tommorow gotta wake up early (tak update karang, ada le yg bising2). so take care y'all.