The Birth Story of Amanda Grace Winston (15.01.2012)

Actually my labor started weeks before her actual birth. It started with contractions (every 10 minutes) that becomes more intense, closer and then stall and fades away. This happened for I think 2 weeks prior to her actual birth. During this period of time, am so thankful for the support of my bestie, Dr Deburra P Ngadan and also the kind ladies of the Gentle Birthing Group Malaysia.

Before going into the details, let me share the preps that I did during my pregnancy. I read (oh boy, you should see the stacks of books and parenting mags that I read) and read some more. And then I was added to GBG by my friend Evelyne (I think I actively followed in my 3rd trimester kot... Busy with schoolwork before that so limited time spent online). And they introduced me to hypnobirthing and natural birth. Oh yeah, always wanted natural birth (actually assumed that ALL births will be natural. Apparently NOT). For you mama-to-be out there, I seriously recommend buying the hypnobirthing book and I really2 suggest you get 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth'... These 2 books are very good and Ina May's book is very2 inspiring and informative too. Ina May's book is filled with many positive natural birth stories. Get it. Seriously.

Ok, back to the birth business...

My EDD was 13/01/2012 and because I was diagnosed as both GDM & PIH (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) as well as having asthma (Full Package according to the nurses at the KKIA), I was not allowed to exceed my due date. My gynae in Kch would probably be too happy to induce me on THAT exact date but thankfully my gynae in Sibu (Dr Toh SG) still allows me to go post-date and only induce on 16/01/2012 if still not in labor. He also told me to go for 1-hour walk daily since week 38 and etc to naturally encourage labor to happen. He was actually pro-natural and not quite as eager to induce as my gynae in Kch...

So 13/01 comes and goes. Still no sign of any action. My Hubby jokes that baby doesn't want to come because it's Friday 13th... Duh! *slaps forehead*

14/01/2012 - By now I've already resigned myself to the fact that whenever baby wants to come, she will come (but still I kept telling her to please help mummy and come soon so we can avoid induction). That evening around 5pm, I went out with my Hubby to town. There were some contractions that were quite mild at first but I brushed it off as just another case of BH. Then I told my Hubby that I want to have McD's Prosperity Burger (alasan: after giving birth I will not be allowed to have it and prosperity burgers are seasonal..he he he). Enjoyed my meal as the contractions/surges becomes a bit more intense. Returned home and I rested on the bed while SMSing with my BFF, Grace. She asked me if I'm in labor yet and then she replied that my baby is stubborn when I told her not yet... Within seconds after her reply, suddenly I heard a loud SNAP sound (the sound when you stretch a rubber band taut and release it). I was puzzled by the sound and I thought it couldn't be my knees because my knees never made any sound like that for sure. So I stood up, and as I stood I felt fluid trickling down my legs. "Did I pee???" I tried walking and sure enough, more fluid trickling down my legs... Then it hits me, MY WATER JUST BROKE. So I calmly told my hubby that my water just broke and my FIL also heard and what happened next is right out of a cartoon movie. My FIL freaked out... My MIL freaked out (and the scene involves tudung periuk, kain sarung and selipar... Ha ha ha)... Only my Hubby & I were calm. We went to the Hospital and after being monitored by the nurses (EFM and CTG) and my Doc was notified that I was 2cm dilated. I was admitted to my room and the nurses told me that I could eat and drink :-)

So the surges came but not very intense, started and concentrated at the back mostly. My in-laws came and my parents, bro, sis and their spouses also came. Nasib baik private hospital, sukahati la nak bawak satu kampung masuk bilik... Kat Govt, siap la kena bambu ngan Misi2 ganas...

The nurses gave us privacy and only came every hour to monitor my BP and baby's heartbeat. I enjoyed my dinner and drank loads of Milo and ate raisins for energy. By 1 am, the midwife asked my permission to do another VE to check my progress and found out that I was still at 2cm dilation. Effacement showed progress though. She consulted my gynae and since my water broke at 7.10pm, it has been 6 hours without much progress. So he suggested augmentation/induce. I was sent to the Labor Room and my Doctor came and inserted the IV drip. I was then hooked on the CTG and EFM.

Induction is no fun. Seriously. For me it's hard because of the EFM and the CTG, my movement was restricted. The moment the induction starts to take effect, the contractions was for me, clockwork and relentless. I think I can tolerate the pain better if I lean to my left side but darn that CTG and EFM!!! By 2.30 am (I think) I was vomitting and Hubby was there by my side to hold the plastic bag... By 3 or 4 am my Hubby went back to the room (surprisingly I was glad he did because it would be hard for me and harder for him to sit there and watch me w/out knowing how to help me).

The pain continued but I kept telling myself and repeating the Birth Affirmations (well, the parts that I can remember).

I put all fear aside as I prepare for the birth of my baby.

I am relaxed and happy that my baby is finally coming to me.

My cervix opens and allows my baby to ease down.

I am calmly prepared to meet whatever turn my birthing may take.

My baby gently moves through the birth path in its journey.

Each surge of my body brings my baby closer to me.

My baby’s size is perfect for my body; we birth easily.

I repeated it over and over again in my mind (insert an Ow every now and then when the contraction is at its peak). By now I had no sense of time. I was groaning and vocalizing (if at Govt hospital sah-sah aku kena maki ngan Misi dan aku akan maki balik itu Misi) to my heart's content (Aku sakit, sukahati aku la). I think by 5.30 am I was having irrational thoughts. First I called my Hubby and told him I want pain relief (epidural). Thankfully my Hubby told me that I do not want that and it's probably not much longer anyway. (Thanks Hubby. Love you for being the sane voice in my temporary moment of insanity). By 6.30 am I was thinking that I want to BITE the midwife who was sitting next to me all these while (crazy thought??? Apparently I was in transition at this point).

I kept telling the midwife that I wanted to poop, she told me that it was the baby's head. I then commanded (requested is not strong enough to describe my tone) her to check my progress. She was surprised that I was already 8cm dilated. According to her, usually it takes longer than that for 1st time mothers. By 7am I was SO ready to push and true enough I was almost fully dilated. My Doctor came and a few pushes later, Amanda Grace was born at 7.30 am. The nurses at the Labor Room was going absolutely GaGa at the sight of her - very fair with a head full of hair. They asked me, "Your husband must be fair kan?" (isk... tau le my skin tak putih sgt... T.T). The moment they placed her on my chest, I fell in love with her (walaupun nampak samar2 as I was not wearing my glasses... Huhuhu)

Then the placenta was delivered, stitches were made and then I was wheeled back to my room.

Oh ya, actually they called my Hubby to come to the Labor Room for the birth but he was locked outside the Labor Room so he was not able to see the actual birth (agak-agak pengsan kot?) but he was ushered in (thanks to the janitor assistant) just after Amanda was born. He he...

My take on the whole birthing process: The rupture site of my membrane must be high up (high leak), hence the slow progress of labor. Induction is no fun but what's even more no fun is trying to lie down immobile while the contractions were coming like a runaway train on high speed (my tail bone was sore for days... Punggung tonggek, mana tak sakit kalau on my back for hours). Mental strength is important and place all trust in God Almighty. He knows what is best (Ye la, kata nak avoid induction on the 16th, turns out I need an induction also. What to say, God's plan).

p/s: I would like to thank Siaw Ying L & Angelina Ong for their help and support. Their birth stories are inspirational. Thanks to Siaw Ying L for lending me her hypnobirthing book and materials. :-) Many thanks too to all friends & family & the ladies of Gentle Birthing Group Malaysia who have supported us by their prayers, kind messages and thoughts during the whole labor process. Sincere appreciation to the kind attention and care of Dr Toh SG, midwives, nurses and staff of SSMC. God bless you all!

Amanda Grace - Day 9

3rd Trimester : Reading & Reflections

Currently reading this (while re-reading Hypnobirthing by Marie F. Mongan). Actually I became interested to read this book after it was mentioned in the Hypnobirthing book as well as most websites on gentle, natural birth.

I. love. it!!!!

Just who is this Ina May Gaskin, you may ask.

Ina May Gaskin has been called “the most famous midwife in the world”. A pioneer in a millennium-old profession on the brink of extinction in her country, she combines scientific evidence and analysis with her own broad experience in exercising natural medicine. Ina May Gaskin is a role model for midwives who still dare to think in different paths, trying to implement more humane obstetrics in their countries, and providing women with the chance to choose the way of giving birth that seems right for them.

(For more, read here)

Why should I bother reading this book?

Well, unless you are living in a parallel universe where other (experienced) mommies DO NOT share their horrific, gory and scary birth stories, you should try reading this book. It's filled with positive, empowering birth stories from mothers who had natural childbirth without too much medical intervention.

I personally felt that listening to all the moms' and aunties' negative stories about birth a great disservice to us preggie mums2be... Sure, it's done with good intention (to prepare us for the 'inevitable' etc) but it just creates more unnecessary tension and fear. And you know what, tension and fear (and stress) are the last things you need to have a natural childbirth. Unresolved fear and tension will result in our body responding by getting tense and this results in pain. Pain because our mind and body is fighting something that is supposed to be natural. Our body responds to our state of mind. (refer to previous post, I've written something about this there).

Ignorance is NOT bliss.

To understand childbirth, we must first understand our female reproductive system. God has created us with the ability to give birth naturally, He wouldn't give us the short end of the stick by giving us the ability to procreate but then, we must suffer while doing it (will not go into a theological debate about this, TQVM!). I mean, look at the animals on Discovery/ NatGeo/ Animal Planet... Their labor and birth are so serene and peaceful, so why must it be any different for us humans? Animals don't over-analyze things, they relax and let nature take its course. That's what we need to do. Have some faith in our own body and its abilities.

Before reading more about childbirth, I must admit that I was feeling a bit intimidated by labor and childbirth. I mean, who wouldn't? We've been conditioned by the society and the media that childbirth is painful and dangerous and probably fatal. Look at the scenes in TV dramas and movies, you'd get what I mean. Thankfully after joining and participating in the online support group, I started to do more reading on gentle, natural birthing without (or with minimal) medical intervention (induction, painkillers, epidural, episiotomy (ouch!), etc) and also gaining more information on alternative choices of birthing (waterbirth, hypnobirth, etc). I have always had the belief that medical interventions should be used only if there is a clear and present danger to both mother & baby. Sadly, sometimes hospitals and medical practitioners use medical interventions to make it easier & faster (for them) without any regard to whether it is necessary at all.

Episiotomy is NOT a must.

Surprised? Don't be. Actually episiotomy cuts take longer time to heal (and more painful too) than natural tears. Actually tearing can be avoided if we only push when the body is ready, not when the nurse or doctors tell us to. There are also many labor positions to try: hands and knees, squatting, etc (on your back, legs up in the air is for the convenience of the doctor, definitely ain't doing us any favor). Oh, and read up on perineal massage. That one helps too, I'm told

:-)

There are also other practices that are questionable yet widely practiced in many hospitals. Such as, no food & drink before labor. Without food, in labors that can last anytime between hours and days, how on earth could we expect a laboring woman to have any energy at all to 'push'? I doubt that she will even have any energy to lift her arm, let alone to deliver her baby. The practice of not allowing laboring mothers to eat and drink was originally due to the fact that, should there be a need to perform surgery, the risk of the mother choking on her own vomit under the anesthesia can be reduced. However, this was waaaayyyyy back when General Anesthesia (GA) was still used. Nowadays, things are different. C-Sec does not usually require the mother to be under GA. But sadly, this practice of 'fasting' still continues. By eating, I don't mean having a big feast, just some light snacks for energy. But hey, if you feel like having Nasi Beriyani, by all means. He he he

Informed Mommies = Informed Decisions.

After educating myself on all these (did both reading and actual discussion with my friend who's also a doctor and other mommies who've had natural birth), I have decided on what I think is in the best interest of my baby. So mums2be, please don't be lazy to read and learn more about childbirth, after all, it is you giving birth and not others. Unless it's a risky pregnancy, your doctor should not have the last word. So be informed to make informed decisions. The choice is yours.

Oh, and I love these quotes by Ina May Gaskin;

“There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we”

― Ina May Gaskin

“Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.”

― Ina May Gaskin, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

3rd Trimester : Any Day Now!

I know.

I've been neglecting this blog. Procrastination is seriously a blogger's downfall. Maybe I'll just blame 'mom-nesia', you know, how absent-minded a mum2be could be sometimes (that's me!). I get so forgetful and 'blur-minded' and my RAM gets so lagging that even simple things could be overlooked by me... Haiya, Lil' Miss Perfectionist, apa sudah jadi???

Anyway, now I'm in my 35th Week (This Friday will be Week 36), so roughly I have around 2 to 4 weeks to go until it's showtime! He he... Am I nervous? Well, I'd be lying if I say I'm not but I'm preparing myself by doing lots of reading and preparing myself. One thing that I've learnt so far is that relaxation helps to achieve a somewhat 'painless' birthing experience. Being a cognitive psychology student I do agree that our state of mind affects our physiological response. Being scared will result in the body responding in a 'fight, flight or freeze' response. The muscles (in our limbs) will be in a 'flight' mode and most blood supply will be routed to these muscles so that we can get the hell outta here! Hence, the muscles in the uterus will be 'frozen' because our body decides that it's is unsafe to give birth right there and then. Thus, painful labor lah... Because the contractions are there but the cervix won't dilate (because it's 'not safe') and this results in more panic and in the end, failure to progress usually results in an emergency C-sec... Ouch!

So what I did was I got in touch with a support group on FB, 'Gentle Birth Group', and I have learnt lots from them. I must agree with them that birth is supposed to be gentle and as natural as possible, unless there is a clear danger that requires medical intervention. Birth has been portrayed as a painful process too many times in the society as well as the media. Look at the birth scenes in the movies or TV dramas, most of it will show the laboring mother to be screaming her lungs out, with the blood vessels almost popping and bulging eyes (that's purple pushing by the way), so it's not a surprise that our psyche have been conditioned to believe that BIRTH = PAIN. Now tell me, who wouldn't be petrified by this... Oh, and those well-meaning (ye ke???) aunties and peers who gladly share their birth stories (lagi horror, gory and bloody lagi bagus) ain't doing you any help, baby! I usually just listen to their positive side, the rest I just let it slip (only if you have selective attention like me, this skill I have perfected after years of Mom's incessant nagging. Love you Mom!). Otherwise, just tell them, only positive birth stories please, save the gory ones for someone else... Surely they will understand and respect that. Kalau tak, just slap 'em la... Ha ha, sapa suruh tak reti bahasa ye tak?

I'm reading the book by Marie F. Mongan, titled Hypnobirth (What is Hypnobirth? Read here and here).. It's helpful and it does make me realize that birth is a natural process for all living animals and humans, just that we tend to over complicate things along the years. With the introductions of more and more medical interventions to make birth 'easier and painless', without understanding that each of these procedures carries a risk. So before making that decision to have selective C-sec or epidural, please read more about it... Educate yourself to enable you to make an informed decision. That's what I told myself every time someone suggested something to me. Just because you have degrees and certs lined up on the wall does not make you all the mightier and wiser than me... Heh! You have the right to decide what's the best for both you and your baby, don't just place ALL the decision-making in the hands of someone else. Hey, I changed my gynae just because both Hubby & I not comfortable with her. Turns to be a wise decision since I later learnt that she's one of the slice-n-snip-happy kinda doctor (C-sec rate quite high). Phewww!!!

So what I'm doing now is lots of relaxation exercises for both me and Baby (Baby loves Balinese Yoga Music, nasib lah Nak, kalau tidak habis lah labour room kena dengar lagu 'Moves like Jagger' during your birth... Ha ha).

So the Checklist before the Big Day:

1. Baby's clothes (diapers, suits, etc) - checked!

2. Baby's toiletries - checked!

3. Baby's Cot - checked!

4. Baby's car seat - checked!

5. Baby's stroller - checked!

6. Breast pump - checked! (Phillips Avent Manual)

7. Feeding bottles - checked! (TT anti-colic) - to be used once breastfeeding already established.

8. Storage bottles - checked!

9. Cloth diapers - checked! (6 pairs - 2 on the way)

10. Confinement set - checked! (Amway's Tropical Herbs. Chosen after thorough survey and feedback from other users)

11. Nursing Bras - checked! (Autumnz - comfy enough for me)

13. Disposable undies - checked!

14. Maternity pads - checked!

15. Hospital Bag - packed and ready to go!

Observant Eyes

Was teaching in class when suddenly my Form 1 kid exclaimed loudly for all and sundry...

"Cikgu! Perut Cikgu bergerak-gerak!!!"

Adoi, this boy! When it comes to books, he (and his classmates) hilang arah... But when it comes to me and my physical outlook, punya lah alert! Haih...

Now that I'm looking obviously preggers, my tummy seems to be a magnet. So many people want to touch & rub it. Got prize meh? If it's my close friends, boleh lah... Kalau total stranger, mau kena penampar rimo bunting?

Last night, finally hubby could see the baby moving. The Lil One was vigorously doing her acrobatic maneuvers and practicing a few kung fu moves, so it can be seen clearly. His response, speechless! LOL!

5th Month

I am now well into my 2nd trimester... Very happy to report that I don't have my 'morning sickness' anymore but if I take any food that is 'blacklisted', guess what, I'll puke again...

Can already feel the baby moving (when lil' one is hungry, siap lah, kena wachaaa from inside... Sabar lah Nak oiiiiiii!). Hubby still can't feel the movement, maybe in the next few weeks he'll be able to. Next week will go for my check up at Dr. Wendy's clinic so hopefully will be able to see whether it's a boy or a girl... Not that I'm into the blue for boys/pink for girls stuff, I'm getting mostly neutral colours like green, yellow or beige-brown for baby. Boleh guna for the next ones, ye tak?

A few weeks ago also was diagnosed as having GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus). Now have to monitor my blood sugar level and control with diet for the time being. If still high, insulin jabs 3 times a day..Takkkk nakkkkkkk!!!! Nak cucuk telunjuk for the blood glucose test pun dah sekian, ni pulak nak injek2... Oh tidak! So I have to repeat the 7-point blood test every 2 weeks and see the doctor every 2 weeks as well. Haih, everything for you Lil' One... Mummy sanggup minum klorofil perisa rumput and such. Tak nak dengar cakap mak siap la kau Nak oi!

Even had to tone down my 'couching tiger hidden dragon' temper... Rimau bunting terpaksa jadi kucing manja. Why? Tak nak anak ku nanti jadi cengeng Kak oi! Tengik kata mak aku... So, sekarang ini meng'surround'kan diri dengan kegembiraan ala riang ria anak2 Ribena. Harap-harap lah nanti Lil' One akan jadi anak yg riang ria jugak...

Started to prepare a list of things to get for baby. Most of the clothes will be hand me downs from my brother (hand me back jugak la because most of it were given by me jugak dulu... Ha ha ha) since his youngest boy is turning 2 in a few months time. So far concentrating on the essentials first, sapa2 nak donate barang2 baby sangat2 lah dialu-alukan ye... :-)

Bah, have to go now. Someone's starting to practice karate kicks. Lapar kot...

Heartburn

I hate it.

:-(

like, seriously hate this burning feeling in my throat. They say it comes with the preggie package but why oh why I get this every single night. Kononnya take small meals will reduce this condition, takde pun...

*groan* bear with it je lah... What to do?